A sin to be avoided in sales copy is using words that remind the prospect you are, in actuality, selling a product, not just educating or helping him out of the kindness of your heart. One of the words on my forbidden list is “product.” Today, I heard a radio spot for JointFlex, an arthritis supplement, that repeats the word many times.
The announcer says: “Doctors love the product, patients love the product, you will love the product.”
Why call it “the product”? Why not be more specific and use the name?
My rewrite: “Doctors love JointFlex, patients love JointFlex, you will love JointFlex.”
A yacht salesman refers to his top-of-the-line model as a “yacht” or “she.” A car salesman refers to a sports car as a sports car, automobile, or “a beauty.” You never hear a good salesperson say “our product” or “my product.” Neither should a good copywriter.
“Product” instantly breaks the spell of enticing copy and says to the prospect, “Don’t forget, we want your money.”[Ed. Note: Even so-called “experts” in advertising forget the rules. But you can get a refresher course from three master copywriters at ETR’s 2008 Information Marketing Bootcamp. Bob Bly, John Forde, and Charlie Byrne will be revealing some of their juiciest secrets to writing money-making sales letters.
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