Who Farted in the Gym

Alright, someone make me laugh. Tell me your funniest “farting in the gym”  stories. Double bonus points if it was you – I know you’ve done it.

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Jeff Kushmerek: OMG- 10 years ago I brought my GF to World’s Gym in Somerville Ma- which was a huge meathead gym. My GF blew the nastiest disgusting gas cloud (SBD). There was HUGE dude behind us on the cell phone and he started coughing real bad and telling his buddy on the phone (its smells like sh*% in here!) 5 mins later he yelled out the same thing. She never returned.

We still laugh about it. I have been to some of the grimiest, dirty rusty gyms over the last 25 years, and that was the worst reaction I have ever seen

Mark Richardson: Young guy on the leg press with 600lb trying to rep out and let rip instead. Old guy on the triceps pushdown behind him just turned his head without breaking tempo and says “juuust relax”. Guy on the leg press says “I think that was the problem!”.

Pete Kamoutsis: Man…I could write a book on the topic! Before I gave up dairy (lactose intolerance) …I used to purposely crop dust at my old gym when guys would sit and read the paper on a bench…one way to move them along…also had a female client blow me a not so fresh colon kiss while hold her feet during a glute ham raise…her response “bloody hell Pete…these r hard!” People have no idea the dangers us trainers face…happy Friday

Ron DeFazio: First of all…Farts are funny regardless of where they take place! That being said, I have a home gym and a two year old son who thinks farts are HILARIOUS (just like his daddy)! In the middle of a push-up my son crawls underneath my face and lets one rip. We both break out in hysterical laughter.

Mark Richardson: Totally agree Pete. Learned that lesson doing leg throw downs with a very proud mid 50’s lady in a group when she contracted a bit too hard.

Chris Benjamin:I was running a speed and conditioning camp for athletes and at the end of our session we were in a circle doing some regeneration work. We were sitting down doing the leg cross over hug stretch (stretching glute). I was explaining the importance of post workout stretching and then pfffffffffffffftttttt. With out missing a beat I said, “don’t judge you all do it!”. The group was the middle school session, mostly girls. Yup still haven’t heard the last of it.

Novan Pradhika Sachrudi:  At the gym  used to train at this loud meathead guy was about to do a really heavy squat, 150+kg or something. After psyching himself up for a long time and making a lot of grunts and screams, he gets under the bar and squats it. As he tries to get out of the hole he lets this massive one rip, except it was a shart. He sharted himself, some of which was now on the floor (he was wearing bodybuilder tights). Never saw him again.

Mark Richardson: Same thing happened here except the guy just went and cleaned himself up and kept training. The gym banned him for being such a dirtbag.

Lesa Kinney Gutenkunst: Ok…. I have to share – I was running a class where my husband was attending. It so happened to be “Partner Drills.” I paired him up with gal whom we both knew so he would be comfortable (not to mention she was hot). During the partner floor slam drill. He was concentrating on contracting his abs that as he squatted down to slam the ball to the floor he let one rip. The ball bounced up and his partner started to laugh bending forward that she missed the ball and it hit her in the chin. It was so loud that we thought he spit his pants.

Paula Griffiths Pgfitness: I teach various classes, mostly middle aged women. On more than one occasion some one has let rip during crunches…. I keep a straight face, as u wouldn’t want to embarass them, inevitably another person can’t help but burst their cheeks trying not to laugh, so I simply say….. Better out than in, you didn’t honestly think abs were the only stomach flattening exercise did you?

Brandon Willis: Someone is gonna have to come up with something great to top Novan’s story.

Mike Whitfield: Oh boy… I’ve had a client now going on 4 years. Out of all the exercises I have her do, she rips one on just about every rep doing jumping jacks. That’s the only exercise that causes it. (What the??) My “cover” is to pretend I’m coughing so I can let out a chuckle. And she LOVES them. I don’t exactly want to stop them in the warm-up because I don’t want her asking, “why don’t we do jumping jacks anymore?”

Dan Edghill: I was spotting a youngster doing some chin ups and took a silent but deadly one right in the face, had to let him hang there a minute while I gagged it out

Erin Naatz: During the summer, I have to bring my boys (7 & 9 years old) with me to run my mid-morning bootcamp class. My trainer (Lesa) decided it would be a good idea to bring in whoopie cushions for them while we did the workout. They both proceeded to “let ’em rip” every time my campers did body weight squats. My younger son was rippin’ them so loud, he blew up his whoopie cushion.

Ted Gardner: This wasn’t “at the gym” per se, but in gym class in high school. We were doing the old fashioned static stretching when I let one go. The whole class started laughing. Our teacher came over and said ‘Your breath smells the same, but your voice is different!”. Very embarrassing to say the least.

Chris Jordan: This seriously made my day. Thanks Craig for the great idea and thanks to everyone for the hilarity.

Matthew Cervantes: During jiu jitsu I had a heavy guy on top of me and as I tried to push him off I ripped one and the professor was standing next to me just laughing needless to say I won that match. Playing racquetball with my dad he let’s one out and it echoes for about three seconds and without hesitation says “wow did you hear that rat?”

Michael J. Love: Working with a personal trainer several years back. Set over the bar for a deadlift and what should be a PR. Grab the bar. My head is up. Eyes forward. My trainer is standing in front of me and her dog is behind and off to the side –as as the weight comes off the floor …I make a sound like a woopie cushion. A good three seconds of thththeppppth. It reverberates like a cheap subwoofer. I drop the weight and and say…”man I think your dog needs to go out… “. The trainer replies while biting her lip and ignoring my comment on the dog…something to the effect of good job… personal record” and I answer “you mean the dead-lift?”

Tony Roe: I was taking a Tae kwon do class and it was the first day of practicing high kicks. Naturally, I made sure I was partnered up with the prettiest gal in class. My second kick, as my foot was at the height of it’s extension, “It” erupted! It was as if time and sound stopped. Everyone looked at me with there mouths open as the echoes were still vibrating off of the walls. I pretty much mumbled some sort of an apology walked out and never returned – LOL. I am getting embarrassed just writing this -:-)!

Turbulence Training Michael – bonus points for involving a dog.

William Bernard: I was taking a Tae kwon do class and it was the first day of practicing high kicks. Naturally, I made sure I was partnered up with the prettiest gal in class. My second kick, as my foot was at the height of it’s extension, “It” erupted! It was as if time and sound stopped. Everyone looked at me with there mouths open as the echoes were still vibrating off of the walls. I pretty much mumbled some sort of an apology walked out and never returned – LOL. I am getting embarrassed just writing this!

Haha, funny stories. Let me know if you’ve ever been in the gym when someone farted.

Train hard but without farting too much,

Craig Ballantyne, CSCS, MS
Certified Turbulence Trainer

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  • Steve Lepp

    At an early morning martial arts session we were performing a power technique that involved standing in a half squat while holding hands together above our heads while drawing in a deep breath and contracting abs, resulting in me ripping out the loudest one imaginable, on a cold still crisp morning, and of course I was in the middle of the group of about 50 people!

    • Steve, awesome. The cold, crisp morning environment makes it all the better. Thanks for sharing, Craig

  • HAPPY TO SNIFF

    ok all you trainers out there. how about when the trainer farts? i have a trainer who let one of the silent variety ones go. he tried to hide it and cover it up. i could tell he was embarrassed. What he didn’t know was i not only got a good wiff, BUT I LOVED IT! THANKS CODY!!