In part 1 of this two part interview series, I introduced  to you Larry Winget who is a professional motivational speaker.  He is a member of the International Speaker Hall Of Fame. Larry is a regular contributor on many news shows on the topics of money, personal success and business.

To listen to the call click here

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Craig:    Yeah, definitely. In addition to that action, there’s something that you talk a lot about in your book that a lot of people don’t think about and it covers a very hot topic today like that bullying and not just at the child level but also being taken advantage of and how not to accept bad service and speaking up against that. Can you give us a little bit of a taste of how you’ve discussed that in the book?

Larry:    Sure. First of all, I don’t think you can have a bully unless you have a victim. We spend so much time trying to get bullies not to be bullies, which I think is impossible, instead of teaching people how not to be a victim. I can show you little kids who are small and they’re confined to a wheelchair but they’re not victims. That has nothing to do with the wheelchair or the fact that they’re small or anything. It’s because in their mind they don’t see themselves as a victim and they don’t act like a victim.

I can show you little tiny 85-year old women who are certainly not victims because they, just like the title of the book, Grow a Pair, they have a pair. Grow a Pair is about an attitude. It’s not about anatomy; it’s about attitude and these people have an attitude.

So I think if we’re going to do our kids justice and teach them how to survive in the world, we have to teach them never to be victims. I can’t demand respect from you but I can refuse to be disrespected by you and that’s what we have to teach people. It’s to refuse anyone ever disrespecting you. That’s something that I believe can be taught and that’s something we need to teach our kids.

The other thing we have to teach our kids and everybody in terms of bullying is bullies will be with us always. I mean you’re not going to stop people from being bullies. There are bullies in the workplace and there are bullies on the highway when you’re driving. Somebody’s going to cut you off. Somebody’s going to think, “I own the road, you don’t, get out of my way.” There are bullies everywhere. That’s just the way life is.

In dealing with bullies, what you always do have to remind yourself is don’t be a victim. But you also have to say that some people are idiots and you’re not going to change them. Just write them off. We put so much credibility in the words of other people. We go on Facebook and somebody says something ugly about us. We get all hurt and say how dare they.

I watched a report yesterday on the news where a bus driver told a woman something about she was fat. Now she was fat but she said she was fat. Now this woman wants to sue the bus driver and sue the city because she got her feelings hurt. She wants to sue them for verbal assault. Really? Verbal assault? Why don’t you just say, “Hey, you’re an idiot. You don’t get to talk to me that way” and walk off. But instead the woman got her feelings hurt and she cried and then she wants to sue somebody.

We’re sending the wrong message across the board when we start thinking that we’re so special that nobody is ever going to say anything hurtful to us. It’s unreasonable.

Craig:    And so that’s just not going to fly when you have the Grow a Pair attitude. The woman would respond in that way recommended and move on with her day.

Larry:    Yeah, she would say, “You’re an idiot. I’m not accepting that from you and I don’t care what you say about me.” We grew up hearing sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. What happened to that? Okay, somebody said something ugly to you. My son who was a sniper in Iraq and was in the 82nd airborne and now he’s a cop in Phoenix, he always says, “What are they going to do? Take my birthday away?” They’re not.

You just learn to laugh at people in their absurdity and that’s part of what growing a pair does for you. You stop being a victim and always being in constant need of having everyone approve of you and you just get real confident in your own skin. You start saying, “I know what I believe, I know what my convictions are, and I’m going to stand true to those things regardless of what anybody else says.” That’s what having a pair is all about.

Craig:    Yeah, but I think the problem is most people don’t know their values, as you said. In the book jacket here, it’s talking about knowing yourself and most people haven’t even gone that far. So where would you recommend someone that does a little bit of introspection and figures themselves out? What do they need to do there?

Larry:    Well first of all, get your sheet of paper, really. I said that the other day to group and they said is there an app for that? Oh my God. No, there’s not an app for that. Get a sheet of paper and sit down and say what in your life will you absolutely not compromise on? Some people say I’m going to defend my family no matter what. You don’t get to talk bad about my family. Okay, so you’re uncompromising about family. That’s a great thing. Write that down.

Me, one of the things, I won’t be lied to. I just refuse to be lied to. You lie to me once, you don’t get a second chance. If you’re caught, you’re done. I demand honestly in all of my relationships. So that’s one of my values that I am uncompromising about. That’s what people need to do. It’s to sit down and think through their life and say where will I not bend? I’ll draw a line in the sand and say that’s where it stops with me. And once you identify them, maybe you’ve just got four or five, four or five is great. Have four or five things that you’re uncompromising about and then you start to say I’m going to live that way.

I answered a question yesterday on my YouTube series, Ask Larry Anything. “Larry, when I’m talking to my friends and my family,, I’m very passionate about some of my beliefs but they disagree with me. Should I just kind of go along with them and compromise?” No! You never go along to get along. You stand firm in what you believe in. What people need to do is determine in what they really do believe, determine their values. That’s the first thing you can do.

Craig:    That’s fantastic, values, personal responsibility, rejecting that. I’m tell me one culture if you read this book is fantastic. I really do believe it’s the number one book that America needs right now, from the teenager on up to any age, right?

Larry:    Oh absolutely. The thing about the book is that the subtitle of the book is How To Stop Being a Victim and Take Back Your Life, Your Business and Your Sanity. I talk about how to grow a pair your family, how to grow a pair with yourself, how to grow a pair as a parent, how to grow a pair at business with your employees, your employer, even with your customers, how to grow a pair with your money, which is all about taking responsibility with your money. Boy, we have people in financial messes right now and so I encourage people to do that. And then it’s also about growing a pair as citizen and just being a person who bases their lives in honesty and integrity and doing the right thing.

Craig:    I think one of the most impactful parts of your book was when you talked about how when you had to take your own advice and deal with when you started getting fewer speaking engagements as a result of the financial situation, and how you’ve basically already had things set aside there so you were quiet smart with that. But you had to go and regroup the wagons or something you said. So can you tell us a little about that?

Larry:    Yeah, you circle the wagon!

Craig:    That’s right.

Larry:    Yeah, it’s that an old cowboy term like the Wild Wild West,, that when you’re under attack from everything, you gather your family,  and you circle the wagons,  and you put your defenses up, and then you go to work. And I think everybody has that in life. When we started going through recession— and you’re talking about a story I tell in there—w. When  a country went to a recession, there were just fewer corporations hiring big- fee speakers like me to come in to do their meetings, because they just weren’t having meetings, and I had a full calendar booked a few  three years out.

I didn’t pay much attention and all of a sudden I get to those three years and I looked around and I go , “I don’t have a lot going on right now s. So what am I going to do?” As you said, I was very smart with my money., I’m primarily known as a personal finance guy s. So I was smart with my money and I was fine, but still my calendar wasn’t as busy as I had it in the past and I just didn’t have as much going on.

So I circled the wagons and looked at my business differently and said , “what can I do to make sure that I’m still relevant? How can I do different things?” In my case that meant that I started to increase my passive income and I started doing some partnerships with other speakers and other people who were kind of thought leaders in the world of personal development and business, and I just looked at things differently.

That’s one of the mistake people in business didn’t do during the recession. One, they had not planned well or prepared, but then they didn’t stop and get honest with themselves. They thought they could be successful in the present and in the future with stuff that had worked in the past. That was not the case, and as a result, many of them went out of business.

So there’s great advice in the book about what you can do to sort of re-look at where you are, and get honest with yourself, and stop lying to yourself and learn how to circle the wagons.

Craig:    That’s perfect, really great. Now there’s one thing and, I hope you’ll do this personal favor for me here. You mentioned the story about going to Sonic Burger Drive-In and having them them exchanged with , the Sonic Burger drive-in and having exchange with the server there, but you never told the full story. I was hoping that you could tell it, as long as it doesn’t cut in to your speaking engagements.

Larry:    Yeah, I’m a cheeseburger guy. Man, I love cheeseburgers! And to me, the greatest meal in the world is great cheeseburger. There’s a great show in television called Burger Land., It’s one of my favorite shows where this guy goes around the world and just investigates the greatest burgers. That’s kind of what I am. B, but there’s a lot of good fast  food burgers out there a. And one of my favorite, being from Oklahoma, was Sonic Drive-in, which is based in Oklahoma City.

And I pulled in one day to Sonic Drive-in to get my standard, which was a No. 2 cheeseburger. I’m kind of a purist.; I just like a lettuce and mustard a. And it came with lettuce and mustard. So I ordered the No. 2 cheeseburger and I was looking for a drink. T and they had a special that day and, it was this black plastic squeeze bottle with hot pink writing on it and a hot pink straw coming out the top with that, but it was a Pepsi Cola promotion.

Well, I love the look of the hot pink and I’m sort of a wild color kind of guy. I wear black boots and have hot pink on them and all that s.
So I wanted the squeeze bottle . And because it was one of those things you could keep forever. So I ordered my cheeseburger and I said,

“You know, I’d love to have that special that day”, that black plastic squeeze bottle of hot pink riding with a hot pink straw b.” But it was very clear it was a Pepsi Cola promotion. and the guy taking my order said, “Well sir, what would you like in that?”

See, that was a surprise to me, because it was so clear it was a Pepsi promotion. , it even had Pepsi written on the side of the bottle. And I said to him, I said, “You mean I get a choice?” Because it was obvious, you weren’t supposed to get a choice.  It only came full of Pepsi. And he said, “Sir, this is America. Y, you always get a choice.”

So And I said, “Well then make mine a Dr. Pepper,.” and I was taught a valuable lesson. , this is America a. And as a customer, we get to choose. And When companies remember that we have a choice,  and play to that choice, and treat us like we have a choice, that’s when they’ll start to win.

Craig:    That’s fantastic. And so the next time I have a cheeseburger, I will definitely think of Larry Winget, as well.

Larry:    There you go!

Craig:    All right. S, so Larry, your new book is out. Very soon, we’re going to send this out to all our readers here at EarlytoRise.com. I recommend that everybody gets a copy for themselves, for their family, for their friends, for anybody they care about and that needs it like so many Americans do. So Larry, where can people reach out to you on YouTube or Facebook? What’s your favorite social media channel for our readers to ask questions?

Larry:    All my favorite social media s is—Yeah my favorite social media is  definitely Facebook Facebook. , just go to Larry Winget fan page. I am very interactive there. I and I mean it’s a great place to mix it up. We talk about all kinds of things and . And I say things that—my goal everyday is not to make the people who follow me happy. , it’s to make the people who follow me think. If I make you made, that’s fine, as long as I’ve made you think about what you believe and why you believe it. So that’s always my goal.
So I suggest people follow me at Larry Winget Fan Page.

I also do a series I mentioned earlier on YouTube called Ask Larry Anything, where people write me questions and I’ll answer their questions on YouTube. It’s the Ask Larry Anything series. , they can follow me there. If you just went on the internet and typed in “Larry Winget” or went to LarryWinget.com, you’ll find lots of stuff., I’m easy to find. And if you turn on most of the major news networks throughout the week, you’ll probably see me on there ranting about something that’s going on in the world. I’m the easiest guy to find.

Craig:    That’s fantastic. Thank you very much. So just to be clear everybody, that’s  Facebook.com/LarryWingetFanPage with the L, W, F, and the P capitalized. So you can get directly to Larry’s page and ask as many questions as you want. Well thanks again, Larry. I, really appreciate this. , wishing you best of luck with the book, because it is an important book for people all over the world to get and read and apply to their lives.

Larry:    I really appreciate, Craig, you having me on. Thanks so much and I hope everybody enjoys the book.

Craig:    All right. Thank you very much, Larry. , this is Craig Ballantyne from EarlytoRise.com., we’ll talk to you soon. Bye bye.

 

Craig Ballantyne

Craig Ballantyne is the author of The Perfect Day Formula: How to Own the Day and Control Your Life. Craig has been a contributor to Men’s Health magazine for over 17 years. Today he teaches his gift high-performing entrepreneurs how to squeeze more out of their days, increase their income, and make more quality time for their families in his Perfect Life Workshop and Work-Life Mastery programs. Craig used his own advice to overcome crippling anxiety attacks in 2006, and he’ll teach you his 5 Pillars of Success so you can increase your income, decrease your work time, and live the life of your dreams. Learn more about Craig at craigballantyne.com