Hey, it’s your old friend, down here, right above your belt.
Yep, it’s ol’ Belly Fat writing to wish you a Happy New Year!
How’s it goin’?
We sure had a great year, huh? All those buffets, late night snacks, and sodas, not to mention all those hidden calories that food manufacturers snuck by you. And because you kept your shirt on all summer, I didn’t get a sunburn this year, thank goodness!
Ah yeah, and about these holidays we just enjoyed….whooo boy! Lots of good times, great food, and plain ol’ sitting around eating & drinking too much. You couldn’t have given me a better present than those extra 25,000 calories. Thanks so much!
You’ve been so good to me that I’m thinking about sticking around another year if you don’t mind. But you might need to get a bigger pair of pants, as I need to expand my place down here (thanks to those extra calories).
Oh, and one more favor. Can you avoid that Turbulence Training you were thinking of doing. The last time you did that stuff, I nearly had to look for a new place to live. I felt like the Wicked Witch of the West in the land of Oz. Did you hear me yelling, “Help me, your belly fat is melting!!!”?
Just stick to that useless, boring, slow cardio stuff. Sure we get a little sweaty, and the ol’ brain up there thinks it’s doing “a weight loss workout”, but you and I know it’s never enough to melt me outta here.
Oh, and another thing, keep listening to those so-called experts who say metabolic resistance training doesn’t burn body fat. Research and experience shows they’re wrong. The last time you did any of that you had to throw me that going away party. That was really sad. I cried. Don’t do that again!
Heck, after those Turbulence Training workouts you tried earlier last year it felt like someone lit a match under our collective butt. I was burning up down here! That stuff is too darn effective, so stay away from it…unless you never want to see your ol’ friend Belly Fat again.
Sometimes I wonder, what did you ever do in college without me, your trusted belly fat? Back then, you were probably one of those people that couldn’t wait to get to the beach to show off your body, not like these days.
Now we get to stay in the shade and keep the cover-up clothes on, that’s the way to go. Besides, its a lot closer to the cold beer, the chips, and the BBQ when you’re sitting in the shade and avoiding all the fun down on the beach.
Well it sure was good catching up with you. I’m sure we’ll be in touch more often, as long as you stay away from that Turbulence Training program. Oh, and please, please, please don’t try this FREE sample TT workout, because you’ll get hooked and I’ll have to start packing my bags:
This video brings a tear to my eye when I think about all the belly fat it’s burned. Heck, it’s fried more fat than a cook at a greasy breakfast diner.
So again, if you want to keep me, your dear ol’ pal, Belly Fat, around for another year and another summer, don’t use Turbulence Training – otherwise, its all over pal, and you’ll never see me again.
Belly Fat says, “Don’t use this”
Your friend and spare tire,
PS – Seriously, don’t go near that…
…Turbulence Training unless you want to see me, Thunder Thighs, Jigg Lee Arm Fat, Man B. Ooobs and Luv Handles pack our bags and hit the highway.
It will be a sad farewell, and you’d be stuck with ripped abs, gorgeous glutes, and toned arms, and you know how much attention those guys get from the opposite sex. Who needs it, I say.
PPS – Don’t do what this guy and gal did.
They used Turbulence Training and look what happened to their belly fat. Now please go get me some more comfort food…
“Hi Craig – First, I LOVE your program. In just under two weeks, I have already started seeing definition – that has been my goal for as long as I have been working out (a LONG time). Keep up the GREAT work, and thanks!”
“I lost 14 pounds this month and the weight is just falling off me. My wife says I now look like when we first met and I still have more to go. I can fit into my old jeans again which is a big deal for me. I just cut back on starches and bread and do your routine 2-3 times a week. I never thought in a million years that just 10-20 minutes of weight training followed by some cardio would get me such steady results. I even cheat a bit on the weekends.” Billy Williams