The Sad Tail of The Jogger – By Bally the Dog
*shake*shake*shake* (water goes everywhere)
Woof! Ol’ Bally the Dog here with an important fat loss story to tell you.
I was out walking my human, ol’ Craiggy the Trainer, this morning, when the dark clouds rolled in and we got caught out in a rainstorm. Good thing, too, because now I’ll smell like Eau de Wet Dog all day long. That’s my favorite cologne and it really stinks up a house nicely.
But enough about the perfect start to my morning (we finished up the walk with a bowl of Kangaroo and Oatmeal dog kibble – seriously! – and I didn’t share one piece with ol’ Craiggy…he has no idea what he’s missing)…
…and let’s talk about your fat loss workout program.
While we were out for our walk, we stumbled across “The Jogger”, also known as, “The Yogger”, as Ron Burgundy, Anchorman, would say.
You see, The Jogger has been jogging the same route every day for over 35 years out here on the farm, long before I was even a rambunctious lil’ puppy.
But these days, The Jogger has become the “The Slow, Hobbling Walker”.
As The Jogger sadly explained, “Jogging these roads has worn down my knees, hips, and even my ankles. I can barely power walk the same route a few times per week. I wish I had known better when I was younger…”
Yep, it’s a Sad Tail for the Poor Ol’ Jogger.
Long, slow, boring cardio not only doesn’t work for fat loss (The Jogger has a pot belly, by the way), but doing the same cardio workout over and over and over again causes wear-and-tear on your joints. It will leave you hobbling around, like the poor ol’ jogger – now known as The Hobbler.
So what should you do?
To burn fat, you need the 1-2 Punch!
You need exercises the kick-fat’s-butt, like Punisher Squats, Total Body Extensions, all of Craiggy the Trainer’s crazy pushups, and his total body ab exercises that don’t require you to slave away while lying on your back.
Don’t you humans know that lying on your back is only to be done when rolling around in the grass? Haven’t we poochies taught you anything?
But I have good news for you…and no, it doesn’t have to do with chasing cats. This good news is all about…
Giving YOU the Perfect Fat Burning Plan:
You must combine diet with total body metabolic resistance training for the perfect 1-2 punch for losing belly fat. Grab these…
and these
2) 31 New & Improved fat burning workouts
If only the poor ol’ Hobbler had known about these 35 years ago before he started his daily mistake of long, slow, boring cardio.
Just think of all the trouble it would saved him.
These New & Improved Fat Burning Workouts would have…
1) Helped him burn that pot belly
2) Saved him hours and hours each week (these workouts are super short)
3 Kept his joints strong & safe
4) Helped him get ripped abs
5) Increased his fat burning hormones
6) Boosted his post workout metabolism (jogging doesn’t do that)
7) Given him the BEST weight loss results in the least amount of time
So don’t be The Jogger…and don’t wind up a Hobbler…instead, be like ol’ Craiggy the Trainer and use these:
New & Improved fat burning workouts
Knock out belly fat with that 1-2 punch!
Woofly,
Bally the Dog, CD
Certified Dog
PS – Barkity Bark!
One more thing.
These workoutz will also makez you better at chasing stoopit CATZ!
PPS – This email was written by a dog.
And yes, it is meant to be funny.
But serious.
Seriously funny.
And to prove to you that cardio stinks – like a wet dog.
Fortunately, there is a better solution…one that takes less time, and leaves you lean and sexy, but not achy or sore in your joints.
This is the secret to burning fat without cardio:
31 New & Improved fat burning workouts
Get started getting better results today.