When you are imprecise with language in copywriting, it conveys an impression of sloppy thinking… and can also undermine your credibility. A case in point: the new commercial from Subway that proclaims “Everybody wants to try Subway’s hot beef sandwich.”
The problem is that word “everybody” – which is so transparently an exaggeration that it defies believability.
Do people on low-carb diets who are avoiding bread want this sandwich – which comes, of course, on bread? What about vegetarians? Do they really want to try this new beef sub? How about people who don’t like subs… people who don’t eat fast food… people who prefer ham or chicken to beef?
A better approach: “Beef lovers nationwide can’t wait to sink their teeth into Subway’s new Hot Beef Special Sandwich.”
This identifies the audience (meat eaters) and conveys the image of desirability and popularity while avoiding the obvious lie of “everybody.”[Ed. Note: Copywriting expert Bob Bly knows the secrets behind writing copy that sells – and including specifics is one of the easiest ways to make your copy stronger. ]