Have you ever seen a little child fall down and look around to see how he should react?
If no one notices his fall he will simply pick himself up and move on. If, on the other hand, his mother or caretaker makes a big, dramatic scene about the pain and fear he must be experiencing then he will react accordingly with tears and wails of agony. He has just created a new pathway for behavior in his brain.
Most reactions are learned behaviors that develop into default patterns we play out without even realizing it. Our automatic habits shape us throughout our lives and, if negatively charged, can be a great disservice to our happiness, sense of safety, and even success.
If you recognize you are ruled by negativity, pessimism, or over‐reacting in dramatic ways and it’s holding you back from peace and happiness, it’s time to change your default settings.
Here are 4 simple ways you can begin to adopt a new vision and mentality in the moment so that you can learn a new way of being. One that supports your dreams, happiness, and goals for life:
1. Drop It: Literally and figuratively — write out your frustration, anger, fear, or doubt on a piece of paper. Feel the feelings associated with that type of emotional response, then crumple up the paper, turn your hand over a trash can and let it go. As the paper drops, allow the emotional charge to drop as well. Decide that it won’t color how you proceed in working through the situation.
2. Open Up To It: See the opportunity — every instance of your life, positive or negative, offers you the chance to learn, grow, observe, speak, listen, or whatever action leads to the most constructive result. Allow the feeling to exist without allowing it to define who you are and how you behave.
3. Magnify Your Perspective: Take a step back — sometimes our vision of a situation is so boxed in by autopilot reactions that we struggle to break free. When facing a difficult moment pause and take a step back; discern if your way of being or thinking is obstinate. Choosing to reframe your point of view can be a powerful step toward achieving your goals with enthusiastic creativity.
4. Look For Where It Isn’t: Dive in deeper — sometimes you may need to dive in deeper to understand the root cause of your angst. Defining where you aren’t fulfilled can be a tool for not only discovering why you default to negativity but also for illuminating where you are fulfilled. This can be the launch pad for gratitude and transformation in your life.
Our society, media, and entertainment sources are littered with drama, negativity, and criticism — it’s easy to fall into the fold of going with the group. But negative thinking and destructive energy leads to self‐sabotage, unmet goals, and internal turmoil. Breaking free from negativity is as simple as a shift in your mindset.