Remember the last time a friend came to you with relationship problems.
“She treats me like garbage in front of her friends. It’s like I barely exist.”
“He gets drunk and stays out with his buddies doing God knows what till God knows when every Saturday and expects me to put up with it.”
With your outside eyes, you can see your friend is in a toxic relationship that probably needs to end.
And it’s easy to make that judgment when it’s OPP (other people’s problems).
But when it comes to our own toxic environments and habits, why do we find them so hard to let go?
Why do we keep buying the bottles of booze when we know we can’t stick to “just one” drink at night?
Why do we load up Netflix at 11:05 pm when bedtime was 10:30?
Why do we (I mean me raising hand) keep buying chocolate covered almonds and leaving them in bowls around the house?
The answer is two-fold.
One, these bad habits are ingrained rituals – deeply driven into our nervous system and without accountability and coaching to break free, every day we spend there makes it harder and harder to “get out of jail.”
Second, we have an emotional attachment to our negative actions – much like our relationship-troubled friends (who should have left last year) – and we stay stuck in patterns that bring us short term comfort and gain for long-term pain.
I’ve seen this pattern in almost every single one of the thousands of entrepreneurs I’ve worked with in the last 21 years.
“I’ve always done it that way.”
“Oh, it’s not that bad.”
“C’mon, it’s just once – or twice – or five times per week.”
The harder the client defends the toxicity, the further they are away from a breakthrough.
But when they open their minds to the opportunity to change, they can move mountains.
For example, when my client Frank Den Blanken took my advice to let go of holding on to every action item, customer service response, and tech update in his business, he went from working 15 hours a day and making $10K per month to working 8 hours a day and making $100K per month.
When Vince Del Monte stopped trying to run three full-time businesses at once because he didn’t want his pride to suffer from shutting two of them down, and he took my advice to go full focus on his ONE thing, his business scaled to over $350,000 per month.
And when Maria finally walked away from a dead-end business partnership that she was using as a “crutch” to support her imposter syndrome, she was able to step into her greatness, reach her full potential, and increase her profits (not revenue) to over $80,000 per month.
That’s the power of letting go of toxicity and negativity… of leaving behind things that do not serve you.
And today we’ll show you more examples of how you can do the same and build a better relationship with your business and money.
1. Daydreaming, Not DOING
In the past two years, I’ve turned down more than $50,000 in revenue by saying “no” to prospects who wanted to work with me.
Why would I turn down good money?
Because after talking with these prospects, it was clear they were DREAMERS, not doers. And I know I can’t help them…because no matter how many innovative ”million-dollar” ideas they have, they won’t put in the massive action required to scale a business.
Think about it like this…
If you created a course and figured, “100,000 people could use this course. I’ll sell it for $297, and all I need is for 1% of that group to buy, and I’ll have a six-figure launch.”
Listen, just because you crunched the numbers and estimated that a certain amount of people could possibly buy your course doesn’t mean it’s going to work out that way. Yes, it’s great to have goals and a vision, but they’re only one piece of the puzzle.
And when you focus more on the results than you do the process of success…you are setting yourself up for failure.
My good friend, Alwyn Cosgrove, taught me a valuable lesson that has changed the way I make goals…unlike most people Alwyn does not encourage setting “outcome” goals. The reason is simple.
No matter how hard you try, you can never control the outcome of a project or goal. There will always be circumstances beyond our control that influence the results of our efforts.
Your course launch might only profit $100k instead of $300k. You might lose 26 pounds instead of 30, or sell four high-end homes in a year instead of six. These are exceptional results, but if you focus only on the outcome of your goals, you’ll still feel frustrated and disappointed.
However, you CAN control the action steps that lead to your desired outcome. You can control the efforts you put into gaining new email subscribers who may purchase your course. You can hire a genius copywriter to create stellar ad copy to generate more interest in your program. You can control your efforts to eat healthier, exercise, and drink less.
By focusing on the processes…by becoming a DOER not a dreamer you will set yourself up for success and enjoy fulfillment and satisfaction even if the results don’t happen the way you want them to.
2. Hitting the Panic Button
My friend and client Jason Capital built a $10 million/year business by the time he was 29. In fact, to the best of our knowledge, he’s the only entrepreneur to sell more than $1 million worth of products in 6 different industries before the age of 30.
In other words…Jason knows what he’s doing.
But last year, he launched a new program called Email Income Experts where he taught his clients how to generate a 6-figure income by becoming masters of email marketing.
He put invested hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars into the new program and fully expected it to be a runaway success.
But when he started filling up his webinars and running ads…the program tanked big time…converting at 50% of his normal rate.
In that moment, Jason could have hit the panic button. He could have freaked out. He could have whined and moaned about how “unfair” everything was and given up on his goals.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he listened to his audience, figured out what they really wanted, and created a new course to fit their needs.
That new course generated millions of dollars in a matter of months and blew away every other program he’d ever produced.
Things won’t always work out. And that’s ok. Don’t panic; get resourceful. When crisis comes (and it will), try to think of how you can recover rather than crumbling.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that if this one project, this one sale doesn’t happen, it’s all over. It’s not a matter of if bad things happen; it’s when. But we have to be resilient, ready to face challenges instead of running away scared when they come at us.
3. Being Fatalistic
Every week, I send my clients an accountability email, asking them, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rank your week?”
One week, one of my clients had found out his wife wanted a divorce. Now my client loved his wife, he didn’t want to split up, and was emotionally devastated by her decision. But he still rated that week a 5/10 (which says a lot about his resilient mindset).
On that same week, another client of mind wrote in saying, “One of my top team members quit, so 1/10.”
Losing a team member, especially a great one, is never easy. But having experienced it myself, I can tell you that it’s not the end of the world.
And when I read his response, it made me wonder what my client would have said if something really terrible had happened. What if that team member had cloned his business and stolen all of his clients? What if he was involved in a car accident that left him bedridden for months? What if he’d been audited by the IRS and forced to pay more money than he had to stay out of prison?
No matter how bad things are right now, they can always get worse (and they can always get better). And if you allow yourself to succumb to the doomsday mindset, achieving 7-figure success will always elude you
Entrepreneurship can and will be brutal; it’s a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs every single day, but you’ve got to be mentally resilient. You’ve got to be calm and steady. If something bad happens to you, don’t take it as a sign that you should quit. Learn from it and move forward.
Criticism will come. You will face challenges. People will be cynical about what you have to offer, but don’t fight it. Instead of letting criticism and challenges knock you down, use it as fuel to improve.
4. Avoiding the “Whetstone”
It doesn’t matter how great your idea, your product, or your service is; if you’re dull…if you don’t bring energy and enthusiasm to your content, meetings, and pitches…you’ll be stuck in second gear for the rest of your life.
Back in the day, I published YouTube videos with more than 3 million views. And that would have been great…except that I talked like a deadpan robot in each video. And 95% of the comments on those videos were critiquing how boring and vanilla my camera presence was.
For years, I allowed the label lie that “I’m an introvert” to hold me back from being expressive and energetic (both on and off camera) and it cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost profits.
Today, I’m a completely different person. I realized I needed to make a change and invested thousands of hours into improving my presence on camera, overcoming my socially awkward tendencies, and becoming more energetic.
And my audience has noticed.
I’ve generated more than $2.3 million on Instagram in the past 24 months alone and every penny of that revenue was a direct result of my commitment to eliminating my “dull” patterns and behaviors.
Whether you use social media to promote your business or not, you must develop your personality and bring the energy if you want 2020 to be the year where you make your first million.
Explore new hobbies. Learn new skills. Practice being more enthusiastic on video. Introduce yourself to new people. Take an improv class or do a comedy open mic night.
Do whatever you need to do to sharpen your personality and presence. I promise, it will generate a huge return on your investment.
5. Falling Prey to the “Gilligan Syndrome”
Like most of the entrepreneurs I know, my good buddy Bedros Keuilian ended in the hospital a few years ago after a massive anxiety left him passed out on the floor of his guest house.
And, also like most of the entrepreneurs I know, Bedros’ anxiety attack happened because he was trying to do everything himself.
He fell prey to the “Gilligan Syndrome” and believed that he had to be an island out at sea, taking on the burden of running a massive company without any help or support.
After his attack, he realized he needed help and reached out to me (along with several other mentors).
I gave him the objective outside eyes he needed to fix his schedule, reduce his anxiety, and build a better team and today he runs a 9-figure franchise AND has a ton of free time to spend with his family and friends.
There’s no glory in burn out. There’s nothing cool about killing yourself–literally and metaphorically–to prove your work ethic. The highest performers in the world all rely on the guidance and support of other people to achieve their goals. And to make your first 7-figures, you must too.
Oprah attributes part of her enormous success to her life coach, Martha Beck.
Phil Knight had the help of his former coach Bill Bowerman and several other team members when he built Nike.
The Denver Broncos linebacker, Von Miller, had a few nasty run-ins with the law (and was on a fast track to prison), but turned his life around with the help of a coach and since become a Super Bowl champion AND an MVP.
We all need help from time and time and the fastest way to achieve your goals is with a strong team.
If you aren’t where you want to be in your life and business right now, then I want to ask yourself a simple question…
“Who am I missing that can help me achieve this goal 10X faster.”
Notice I didn’t say WHAT or even HOW can I do this faster…I said “Who”.
Do you need an assistant to offload the “dirty work” and free up time in your schedule to focus on your area of genius?
Do you need a sales rep who can pitch your product or service to the hundreds of leads flooding your inbox each month?
Do you need a coach to give you objective outside eyes on your business and help you see the bigger picture and simple strategies you’re missing?
WHO can help you get to the next level?
Once you have the answer, GO AND GET THEM.
If you’ll do this one thing, I promise your life and business will change forever.
By eliminating these five habits from your life, you’ll put yourself on the fast track to 7-figure success.
Now over to you…
Which of these toxic habits do you struggle with the most? What is the #1 thing you’re going to do in the next 24 hours (remember, success loves speed, delay kills dreams) to overcome it?
Let me know in the comments below.