Over the past few years I’ve made a lot of good friends at the local running store here in Delray Beach. It’s where I buy my Brooks Beast running shoes… I enjoy the training runs and races they sponsor… and I get tons of good advice from them practically every week.

But brother, was I disappointed when I got this e-mail from them last Saturday. Here’s how it read, more or less:

“Special Sunday Event – Several running experts speaking on various topics – $15.”

Ouch!

No specifics. No proof. All summary and generalization.

It’s a weak, weak, weak recipe for disastrous copy. Suppose, instead, their e-mail had looked more like this…

Coming This Sunday, Power Up Your Running to the Next Level!

  • Four-Time Miami Marathon Finalist John Smith explains how to cut 15 minutes off your fall marathon time…
  • Palm Beach Orthopedics Institute director Mary Jones gives you the 4 secrets to avoiding training injuries and getting in the best shape of your life in the next 6 weeks…
  • Nike Shoes Director of Advanced Technology Jim Jackson previews their breakthrough new X-743 running shoe (on sale 25% off Sunday only).

Specifics… Proof… Details… Facts, figures, names, and places… Oh yes, and that little matter of Benefits!

Now that, I might pay $15 for!

[Ed. Note: For more of Charlie’s thoughts and insights, follow him on Twitter at http://CharlieByrne.BlogSpot.Com.]

Charlie Byrne

Charlie Byrne is a former Senior Copywriter and Editorial Director for Early to Rise. Charlie spent the earlier part of his business career as a systems analyst, project manager and consultant in New York City for Fortune 100 companies including Philip Morris, Digital Equipment, and Citicorp as well as New York University and Columbia University. He then spent over ten years at Reuters Ltd and Interealty Corp designing and implementing financial, real estate and news information services. In 2003, he joined Early to Rise as a senior editor and copywriter. Since then he has helped publish over 1000 editions of ETR, resulting in gross revenues of well over $25 million. He has also produced dozens of winning sales letters and promotions, including two that brought in over $200,000 in under 24 hours, another two that have grossed over $1 million each, and a single sales letter that sold 25 units of a $10,000 product.

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