Have you ever wondered how you can command a room? How you can just walk in and have everybody look at you and just say, “Oh my goodness, this a person I need to know, how can I get to know them?”
Well, this is what we’re going to teach you today. I have a special guest on, his name is Jason Capital. He’s the author of a book called High Status, which is where he teaches you how to get exactly what you want..
So, Jason, welcome to the show.
Jason: Thank you, Craig. Glad to be here with you man.
Craig: Jason I knew you a long time ago, we met back in 2009. You were 20 years old, right?
Craig: Obviously, you are the type of person who’s going to take action and learn a whole bunch of stuff. And so just give us a quick background of what you’ve accomplished in your young years since we first met back in Washington, D.C. at Yanik Silver’s Underground.
Jason: Well, first of all, thank you to Yanik, if you’re listening right now. Although Yanik, I do have a bone to pick with you. Now I don’t know if you know this, but they gave out ten scholarships that year and I was number eleven on that list. And number ten was from a country where they had all kinds of problems in the Middle East, and she wasn’t allowed to come to America. So they call me, and they go, “Hey, Jason, number ten can’t make it. You’re eleven, but you still want to come?” And of course I said, “Sure, I’d love to come! Thank you so much.” And now eight years later, I’m weird, I keep track of where all those people are right now.
Craig: I was just going to say, whatever happened to …
Jason: And eight out of nine are invisible. I couldn’t tell you.
Craig: But somebody else has been.
Jason: There’s one guy. His name’s Saeed, who is a very successful blogger and Word Press, kinda software guy.
Craig: That’s really awesome. So you know, a 20% success rate though is really, really great.
Jason: If fitness programs got 20% success rate, obesity would not be a problem right now in America. So you asked how I got here and kind of very quickly about me… When I was younger, I was very shy. I was a very reserved guy. I was the wallflower. There’s someone inside of you, where you’re like, I wish I could just bring this person to the forefront, and just be this person, the person I know I am. You have all these stories and blockages and things that stop you. And you kind of end up watching life just pass you by, as everyone else gets what you want, and you just relegate it to leftovers for everything. I didn’t want that. So …
Craig: Were you that way when I met you? Where were you? Like if that was a one, at your worst, and you know, you’re a nine or ten now, where were you then?
Jason: I was a four or five. So I met you about two to three months into my own personal development journey. I think every successful entrepreneur has to go through some self-development, personal development journey. There’s a lot of people who are very cynical about personal development stuff. Yet, you notice they’re never the ones who are successful. It’s like the same people who criticize you in comment sections. You notice if you’re not in front of them, and they don’t have you to criticize, they’ll just go and criticize someone else. They are chronic criticizers.
So I think, first of all, it’s so important, in my opinion, just from looking at from Mark Cuban’s to Richard Branson’s to Warren Buffet’s, who credits the Dale Carnegie course he took 60 years ago as a like the most significant thing he has done. If you go to Warren Buffet’s office, he has a degree from Columbia that doesn’t hang on the wall. The only thing on his wall is his Dale Carnegie graduates course because he considers that his real education in life. And that’s what I consider the most important thing, which isn’t what school did you go to or degree, or is your last name Kardashian or Kennedy. Those things don’t matter. What matters in life in order to get the life you want, in order to be successful, is your communication skills.
We all know people who things just seem to go their way. Like why is it that some people get to live their dreams while most of us kind of get a nightmare. Like, what is the difference? Well, the difference is the people who get to live their dreams, who get to do what they want, they’re great communicators. They have charisma, they know how to build rapport. They don’t repel people. They magnetically attract people.
To people on the outside looking in, it looks like they have some secret. That there’s some magic. There’s some voodoo. There’s something they’re doing to not have to work as hard, to kind of take days off if they want to do things they want. Yet everyone kind of is like, oh well, that’s because it’s him or that’s because it’s her, so they get away with it.
Well, why can’t you get away with it? What is it they’re doing? The only difference is that they signal higher status at an unconscious level to everyone around them and the people who fight and claw for every last drop signal low status.
Craig: Yeah, and so you know when I think of that, I think back to college and you think of the guys who were extroverted who, maybe they didn’t study but they got the answers from somebody else, and you’re like, “That’s not fair.” But in a way, that’s life, I mean that really is life and the thing is, you could go and do that same sort of thing. You didn’t have to be extroverted to do it because you can learn these skills as I guess that’s what you’re saying if you were a four at one point.
Jason: That’s exactly right. It’s extremely learnable. It’s the same thing as riding a bike. At events when someone asks me a question like that, I’m always like “So tell me, when you came out of the womb and the first time you had to go to the bathroom, did you know how to go? Did you know how to flush, and what button to push?” It’s a big process when you’re young. This is like a series of steps, but you learned it, right? You didn’t know it, you practiced it, and then you got better at it, and now you know how to go to the bathroom. You could go right now and have no problem.
Any social skill can be learned. If you’re shy right now, it’s simply because you have been acting shy as of late. If we got you to flip that switch and you started acting more charismatic, acting more caring, acting more charming, acting more social, acting more given and that’s what you did in maybe the last 10 days, the last 30 days, the last 40 days all of a sudden your identity would start to change and you would go from being shy, reserved, and missing out to extroverted, social, and in demand.
Craig: All right so just to re-track our steps here a bit, what was the thing that got you going, so two to three months before I met you, what was it that you know is the first thing that you read or the first product?
Jason: A total confession here and I’ll share with a bunch people I don’t know. Growing up I was very bad with girls. I was very shy around girls. I had no problem hanging out with my guy friends, and telling stories, and cracking jokes but the minute a girl came around it was like this transformation took place in me. I went from being outgoing, to reserved and shy.
Craig: Like shutting down almost.
Jason: I was walking on eggshells. I don’t want to say anything. I don’t want to bore her. I don’t want to make her get the, I got to go find my friends line where they leave you. I was so afraid of rejection, of being myself of being my true self out there, the inciting event was I went to Michigan State, and this is my fourth school in four years. So I failed college four times with a smile on my face.
Craig: Oh, wow.
Jason: If you want to be an entrepreneur college is certainly not the way to waste $100,000. There’s much better ways to waste 100 grand. So I go to Michigan State and all my friends, we go to a frat party one night and we walk in, and it’s my first frat party ever. I’m 20 years old there are lights, there are all kinds of magic going, there are dragons and there are wizards and this is incredible.
Craig: There’s got to be a unicorn or two even though it was nine years ago.
Jason: There was three of them out there, and I’m totally sober because I didn’t drink at the time. And there’s red cups everywhere, typical frat party, and they immediately it’s like effortless for them. They find girls. I get to talk to a girl and finally, it’s the big moment and in 30 seconds we go from exciting to it was really nice meeting, I got to go find my friends. And she just leaves me. My friends are gone and I’m just all alone looking at all these people who just seem to know what to do here, and I have no idea what to do, and that was enough for me. That was my inciting incident.
I run home and I go to my apartment and make a stand. I will never let that happen again. It’s crass, but I was like, “I will be great with women. I will be confident with women. I will be confident with friends. I will be confident in life and no matter what environment I stepped into whether it’s work, office, the gym, doesn’t matter.”
Craig: Well, it wasn’t a crass way to describe it and I thank you for that. That’s a beautiful thing, what you just described. What you’re saying is you’re going to be great for people, you’re going to be great to people, and that’s what you’ve been able to do.
Jason: That’s exactly right.
Craig: So we never did get the answer to the question, which is what have you done since 2009?
Jason: I’ll give you a very quick timeline. I started my first online business at 20 years. It’s ironic the personal development journey, and this journey we’re talking about here and the entrepreneurship, all happened at the same time.
Craig: Well, I’ll just interrupt you and say, having done so many weight loss transformations, I can say without a doubt that you cannot have a physical transformation without a mental transformation, and now I’m starting to see that you can have a wealth building transformation without a personal development transformation, a mental transformation as well.
Craig: So you’re teaching me that today, so thank you. So you started this and things were going great.
Jason: Things were going great. I went from a broke college kid to making $20,000 in two months thanks to some of the things you, Yanik Silver, and Joel Marian taught me. And then it was like, great I’m making money, I’ve built an online business, I moved to San Diego, I moved to the beach. I’m living life and I started hanging out with some bad people. I’m in San Diego, and I’m 22 years old, and as you know your environment is so important to your success, and I started doing some things I shouldn’t have, and within a few months all that money, that business I had, gone. Bank account goes I was like, “I want to login to Bank of America and see a phone number, seven.” It was six of them and within a few months, it was just a zero.
Craig: Just the operator’s number.
Jason: Yes. She’s always there for me right? So broken and broke, I move back home to my parent’s basement. I’m sleeping in a basement, and my parents they’ll put a roof over my head, but that’s it. I got to get food. I’m living on bananas because that was all I can afford. I would eat 13 bananas a day and protein powder, and that was all I was doing. And I set a goal in that basement. I imagine it’s like Tony Stark’s cave. Iron Man’s one of my favorite movies, where I set this goal of I need to figure out how to get what I want in a relationship, how to master emotions, how to master my business so I can get the life that I want without losing it.
Within nine months from that point, I went from making zero to being a millionaire, for the first time in nine months. At 24, I made my first million and I have all these great relationships with people, and friends, and I have an amazing girlfriend today. Now I’m 28. Very, very successful business. I have clients in over 100 countries. We have over 10,000 success stories in our database, which is just the coolest thing ever to see that many people who transformed the same way I did in such a short amount of time, and during that period there was one thing that I discovered that made it all happen for me to go from zero to millionaire in nine months, to master my emotions, to master my relationships, to master all this stuff and it was high status.
That has been the thing for myself and all these clients worldwide.
Craig: Right, so now you have a book called High Status, and you have an annual event about high status, right?
Jason: That’s correct, yes.
Craig: I’m going to be speaking at that this year, really excited for that, but what do you think is the value of that early failure? You were young, you were 23 when you had that early failure. Do you think everyone’s going to have an early failure or can it be avoided through some of the stuff that you would teach? Or is there value in having a little bit of early failure?
Jason: To anyone who’s listening right now, I sincerely hope and pray that you fail like I did. It was the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me. I know, Craig, you had your own failures when you were younger. And I’m sure you cherish and value them too.
Craig: I’m going to interrupt you again, so when I met you in 2009, I was at a point where I had made a bad contract decision with somebody, and I was spending $9,000 a month and you know that’s not pocket change to anybody, and I was like, “I’m locked into this contract, spending $9,000 a month, getting myself into something I don’t want to,” and I knew. Here’s how I knew it was so bad, I was yelling at my dog when I would walk him, and I’d be like there’s no reason to yell at the dog, and so I had a conversation with Matt Smith, my future business partner, he wasn’t my business partner at the time, and he said, “Craig, you’ve got to get yourself out of it.” He’s a very wise guy.
So I had a phone conversation the next day, and it was like the weight of the world was off my shoulders, but you know that was one of the was that I failed over time, and so everyone’s going to have a bunch of them you know, but it’s good to go through one and realize and come out the other side stronger.
Jason: It’s so important. It is the resistance with which your emotional muscles will get stronger. Without that worldly resistance pushing against you and you could bench press it back, your ability to persevere and turn obstacles into advantages, that muscle will never grow.
Jason: But it’ll never happen without you. You need that resistance to grow otherwise it’s like you go to the gym if you keep lifting five-pound dumbbells but you’re not going to grow to the love that you want to grow, and you need that. The way I look at it is I always say it’s like if you’re going through that thing right now that thing that’s just you’re like I can’t get out of it, it’s so stressful, it’s so hard and it’s keeping me down. I’m in a different situation than you Jason etc. I look at it as that is going to be a page, it’s just one page in your story.
Can you imagine reading someone’s biography where from chapter one to chapter 20, the whole thing is just, he killed it, he killed it, he killed it, he killed it, end of story. You’d be like this is the most boring story of all time. Without that kind of pain, that going downhill, and trying to figure it out, the story’s not interesting. I needed to lose all that money, go in that basement, because now not only has it made me so much more of an interesting person, but I can share that story. It can inspire other people.
Craig: Right, that was your heroes journey.
Jason: That is exactly right.
Craig: There’s actually an overlap between having that failure and then having the success with the girls. It’s like desensitizing yourself, so you know you desensitize yourself to failure, and then you desensitize yourself to scary situations. Is that kind of what you teach in some of the stuff that you’re showing people how to get out of that comfort zone and try those new things?
Jason: One hundred percent. Yeah, you have to. One of my mentors, this crazy billionaire guy who lives in a castle in Scotland. He always talks about ways to build up your emotional bank account. And what that means is every time you do something that is pushing outwards on your comfort, where your heart races a little bit, and maybe your tongue gets a little dry, and you get a little shifty or nervous. Those situations are good because every time you go that situation, you actually walk through that door and you come out the other side, now your brain goes, “I can actually do things that scare me, and I don’t die.”
Jason: I will still survive. Everything’s okay. The world is still the same, but when you do that also it’s like making a deposit in your emotional bank account, and the more deposits you can make in your emotional bank account, the bigger emotional bank account you have.
Jason: Because you don’t have enough of an emotional bank account. Even if your financial bank account is fine. Does that make sense?
Craig: Absolutely, absolutely. This is really cool because I’ve known you for that long since you were 20 years old, and now I really feel, and I felt this many times over the years, that the student has become the teacher. You’ve taught me so much about email writing and speaking, and now the high-status stuff, and it’s really cool. So it really is important that we get into that, and you’ve told this great story online that kind of illustrates exactly what high status is. So I would love for you to share that with us again.
Jason: Absolutely. I live in Orange County right now and Kobe Bryant is my neighbor, which I just tell everyone because it’s the coolest thing.
Craig: Oh yeah, cool.
Jason: So I live Orange Country now, I used to live in LA, in the Santa Monica Area. And four or five nights a week I’d go out with my friends and we used to go to this bar a lot called the Viceroy in Venice. Very cool bar if you ever go there I’d recommend you check it out. But one night we’re there, and in my past when I was doing a lot of coaching for men and how to do better, be more confident with women, I would constantly be observing behavior in bars.
Where else can you study male-female interaction than a bar? I’m out there and I’m just ones and zeros, I’m studying everything, and I see these three groups of girls and they’re all at the bar, they’re drinking red wine, and they’re all done up, but you can always tell, I always tell clients when you walk into a bar decide first before you go talk to someone, are they open or closed? Ask yourself, and it’s very simple. You will unconsciously know if someone’s opened or closed. Their body language will be open, their head will be looking around, that’s how you know they’re open. They’re want people to come to talk to them, they want to be social.
If they’re closed on the other head, their body language is not open. They’re only facing each other. They’re not looking around. Their feet aren’t open. They’re just right in that moment-
Craig: Girls night out for them.
Jason: One hundred percent. Girls know it. Sometimes you go out because you want to be social and other times you go out because you want two hours to talk about nothing and everything with your girlfriend. There’s three girls, it was a force field around them, could not be penetrated.
Craig: But it could be as you will show in a second.
Jason: So there is this force field around them. I see this one guy who’s bouncing around from table to table being super social, good-looking guy, well-dressed, well put together, confident seems to know everybody. I’m like, “That’s a pretty cool guy.” He goes up and he tries to talk to these girls, which I applaud him for just even to go do that. And he gets shut down hard. No matter, he’s pulling out every verbal tactic there is, they’re not having it, they see right through it. “Go home son.” That’s what they’re saying.
So I’m like, “Okay, this is normal.” It happens sometimes. Better luck next time. Not two minutes later, George Clooney comes strolling into this Viceroy lounge bar, and he is the smoothest human being I’ve ever seen. George Clooney doesn’t walk, he floats. His eye contact is just piercing. People talk about Bill Clinton, when you’re talking with him there’s a reality of distortion field, and it’s two, and he makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world, George Clooney has the same thing with his eye’s. He’s smooth, and he’s not fidgety but he’s got this. His body language is powerful and he has this aura about him, this magnetism about him.
As he walks, some people they don’t even have to see his face, they just start looking from the back. They can just tell there’s something different about this guy, and all the heads turn. As he goes to the girls I see him make a straight bee line for these three girls, and as he approaches it was like it was incredible. I had x ray vision on and I see force field just fall, and it was just down. Their body language just shifts open, and he just walks right in and he goes, “Hi, I’m George.” And they just melt in that moment. They melt completely. “George, oh my. It’s so amazing to meet you.” The girls are like, “Can I buy you a drink?” The girls sitting down, and she’s like, “I’m going to being standing up, you sit down George. Do you want a shoulder rub, foot rub? What can I do for you?”
Five minutes ago, not talking to any guy, one guy who comes over has one thing the other guy didn’t, and everyone open’s up for him. What did George have that the other guy didn’t? George Clooney is a high status human being. And what does that mean? People think high status is Lamborghini’s or Chanel handbags, $1,000 shoes, and Rolex’s, and it’s not. The unconscious brain sees through this. You’re trying to signal high status, but our unconscious brain knows those aren’t real signals of high status. Scientists call them honest signals of high status. They would call those dishonest signals of high status.
Jason: What you want to be projecting, what George Clooney projected, is what scientists would call honest signals of high status. And there’s only 12 of them, and they’re all in the book. And there’s high status eye contact, vocal tonality, high status walk, high status charisma, high status rapport building, there’s actually 12 in total, and that’s what he did, and everything changed for him because of that.
Craig: Right, and now you said, because I’ve seen you present on this before, you talk about how 20 years before that George Clooney was a struggling actor, he was getting turned down at auditions. Was he always like that and he just needed a big break?
Jason: Two things changed. Before George Clooney became semi-famous on ER in the 90’s, he bounced from audition room to audition room for 20 years in Hollywood getting rejection, after rejection and finally one day George wakes up and goes, “What am I doing here? This is not working. I am doing what Einstein called insanity. The same thing over and over, and I keep getting a negative result,” and had a lightbulb go off and he goes, “Why don’t I change my approach? Why don’t I change my strategy.” Which is one lesson right there, a lot of people after rejection they would change their goal. They’d give up on the goal and go, “This isn’t working, I’ll try something else.” Or that’s the person who’s like, “You know, this whole being a writer thing didn’t work. I’m going to go start a Starbucks or something.”
Jason: He never gave up on his goal. Confucius used to say, “When the strategy is not working to achieve the goal, don’t ignore the goal, change the strategy.” George changed his strategy, and he goes, “There’s two things I’m not doing. One, I’m coming off as needy in these audition rooms and everyone in there is needy because you’re trying to get this person’s approval,” but the second thing is he goes, “Everyone who auditions, they are trying so hard to impress the director’s, to impress the producers that’s low status behavior.” It’s low status behavior to be approval seeking or to be needy. He goes, “Why don’t I go in there and instead of trying to impress them, I flip the script on them, and I try to make them impress me, and show them that they deserve me, and show him that instead of being like I’m the best ever, let me start asking questions and start qualifying them and find out what is it that they’re looking for in this role, and then project that back to them so that I’m the obvious choice.”
He also used rapport building tactics in there as well. He changed the whole script to everyone else, and everyone who’s auditioning is low status and he goes, “I’m going to be a high status individual.” All of a sudden he gets the ER role, and then he gets a huge movie role, and then another, and then another. And then he’s Danny Ocean and now he’s the world’s sexiest man 84,000 times or whatever. But everything changed the minute he decided to change from low status to high status.
Craig: That’s amazing. So you mentioned rapport building a couple times, and I think that would be so important for our listener’s because rapport buildings going to work whether you’re a real estate agent, a sales person, a doctor, to when you’re looking for a mate tell. Tell us about high status rapport building techniques.
Jason: Absolutely. So the first thing that you need to be aware of is more of the rapport building tactics or techniques of information that’s shared out there is people who are low status teaching other people how to build rapport in a low status way. If you’re thinking for hours and hours how to signal that you care about someone or being thoughtful or anything like that, you are being low status in that moment. Do you think that Richard Branson spends hours and hours about how to send the right perfect gift to someone? He puts some thought into it, but it takes two minutes and whatever his decision is he’s decisive about it and he just goes on so the thing. Decisiveness is another quality in high status people.
But most of the information out there is low status rapport building. High status people, they build rapport in a different way then everyone else. They don’t go the needy three month, six month route. What I teach is what I call rapport accelerators. How do you build rapport with someone when you only have five minutes with them at a cocktail party, or at a dinner party, or you meet them on the street. You only have a couple minutes to do it. Well there are science backed techniques that you can use to accelerate the rapport to make you feel like you’ve known the person for 12 months or 12 years in just the 12 minute period.
So one of the things I want to share about that is one of the most taught, and it’s just horribly wrong, ways to build rapport is doing favors for other people, and I’m not saying that with your family or friends you shouldn’t do them favors, like I do solids for people around me all the time and there’s this natural flow back and forth of reciprocity, which is great. What I’m saying is if you go out of your way to do someone a favor and expect them to just reciprocate in return, and expect them to just feel like, “What a great person. I will do anything for you,” it won’t work. I mean we all know people that we’ve done favors for that we just get nothing in return no matter what we try.
The reason is, high status people, like really truly high status people in society, how many people do they have trying to do favors for them everyday? How many people do you think try and do favors for Richard Branson everyday trying to gain his approval?
Craig: A lot.
Jason: A lot. He is so trained to know any gift he gets from somebody he doesn’t have to return. Celebrities do the same thing. What you need to do is flip the script the same way Clooney did, and instead of trying to do that person a favor to build rapport, get them to do a favor for you, and it’s so counter intuitive, but it works.
I’ll tell you a story. The first person who I ever learned this from was a very wise man named Benjamin Franklin. 250 years ago, Benjamin Franklin is in the parliament in Philadelphia, and they’re coming up for reelection, and there is a guy who lives about 20 miles away who’s younger, he’s better-looking, he’s a hotshot, people are talking about him, they’re buzzing, and he wants Franklin spot, and because of that he doesn’t Benjamin Franklin. He wants to see Benjamin Franklin as an adversary and he goes, “I want your spot Ben, give it to me.” He goes, “I’m follow you. I see you on Instagram. I don’t like your Instagram. I’m coming for your spot right. Benjamin Franklin’s Michael Jordan, and this is Kobe Bryant.
So Benjamin Franklin is, “I don’t want to lose my spot, and I don’t want to get into a battle with this other people because then I get died down, I’m focused on beating this person instead of helping my people and that’s distracting. So what he does is brilliant. He realizes and hears from friends that this adversary he’s a bibliophile. Loves books, and he happens to have this one rare book that no one else can find. So Ben being brilliant, writes a letter to this guy and says, “Hey, I think you’re fantastic. I hear you love books. I love books. In fact, I heard you have this one book I’ve been looking for it for years, and I can’t find it anywhere. Do you think I could borrow it? I really appreciate it. I’ll return it to you exactly six weeks from the day I receive it at this. Thanks.”
Guy gets the letter, “All right, well I don’t want to be an a-hole. Okay, I’ll do it.” So he sends the book back to Ben, and Ben promptly gets the book, puts it on his desk, walks away. Doesn’t look at it for six weeks, tells people who work for him, “Hey, get this book back to them six weeks from now on the exact date I said I would,” and that’s it. So then this happens, book gets back to the guy, and a couple months after that they all meet in a big group meeting in Philadelphia, and Ben sees the guy for the first time since the favor. And the guy walks right up to Ben and Ben’s like, “What’s he going to say? What’s he going to do?” He walks up and he goes, “Ben it’s so great to see you. You look fantastic. Here I saved a seat for you, come on sit down.” And this guy is as chummy as they come with him now.
All of a sudden, Ben flipped this person from an adversary to an ally in an instant. Like what did he do? Why did that happen? It’s because this guy took something very valuable to him, this book, and he gave it to Ben. That was him taking a piece of him, a valuable part of him and saying, “I trust you with it, have it.” The thing is the human brain, any time we do something for someone, we have to rationalize why we did it immediately after the action. There has to be a reason why that fits in with our identity, that fits within ourself image, and what happens is when you do someone a favor and then you have to rationalize it, you go why did I do this for this person? The only logical answer, which isn’t logical at all, is I must like this person. So by getting someone to do you with favor they start to favor you more.
Craig: So that is something that anybody can use right now. Now another one that we talked about, and you have a little story on this one is the high status walk, which sounds kind of funny, but walk me through the high status walk and how anybody can use this to own a room.
Jason: Here’s why I love the high status walk. For anyone listening, if you want to go from zero to a million dollars it’s going to take you some time. If you want to lose 30 pounds, it’s going to take some time, can’t do it over night. You can up your walk how fast, in a second right? Literally it is an instant change that can produce massive results in every area of your life. What most people don’t realize is that before we talk to someone for the first time, we see them walk. Our first impression is not based on the handshake in the first 30 seconds of conversation, it’s based on watching them walk and seeing how other people respond to them.
If you come in with the low status walk, that’s where you’re going to get sorted, and then you’re going to get treated that way. You’re going to get treated as a low status, which you don’t want. You’re going to miss out on all the things you want.
Craig: So if like you walk in a room slouched over-
Jason: Yeah, if you walk in a room and you’re slouched over and if you’re constantly looking around. What that signals unconsciously is, “I’m not cool. I’m not fun. Where’s the fun cool people, so I can go leech onto their joy.” That’s what we see. We’re having fun here right now and we see someone looking around, I’m go stick my teeth in them and suck some blood out. We don’t want them here, but if they walk over confident, and happy. They look like they’re in the zone. They look like they got things going on, we have no problem with them because we feel like this high status person, because they’re high status, will add value to the situation, they won’t suck it out.
That’s what the high status walk is. And there is a few things we go over in the book, but one of the coolest things you can do, and I recommend everyone do this the next time you go to an airport, is as you’re sitting at your gate waiting for the flight to take off, just do a little experiment watch the people walking back and forth through the airport as they walk to their own respective gates. What you’ll notice is that they will be moving one of two ways. Either shoulders slumped over, looking around, not very happy, and they’re just kind of like walk bye but you will see another group of people who are not like that. Shoulders back, head up it’s like they have a string from the crown of their head touching the ceiling that hold their body language and posture up, and they’re looking straight ahead.
They’re not looking around, they’re focused, they’re excited about where they’re going. Think about the phrase, that guy or that girl is going places. That’s what they look like. They look like they’re going places, and we as human beings, we want to associate, be friends with, and be around people who we believe are going places. So you can watch it in airport and you will see lot status people walk by and you will see high status people walk by, and the reason for it at that airport typically is the people who have low status walk, it’s because they don’t like where they’re going, and I don’t mean that metaphorically. I mean that literally. They don’t the destination that their flight is taking them to.
And we as human beings again, want to be friends with people that we think are going places, not with people who we think are just going through the motions, floating aimlessly in the sea mediocrity.
Craig: Perfect, perfect. So parents can teach their kids about high status, low status. How else can parents and families use high status stuff? Parents helping their children or getting their children to do what they want?
Jason: Sure, so I’m going to cover two things here real quick. The first one is, if you’re parent listening, and you would you will recognize this immediately. Your son or daughter they a specific vocal tonality, and we talk a lot about vocal tonality in the book, but they have a specific vocal tonality that they use when they want to just bypass your conscious brain and just get what they want. When they just want to mind F you, I’m not going to say the word.
Jason: To just get what they want. It might be a, “Hey, mom you said we’re getting ice cream, right?” Not, “We’re getting ice cream aren’t we? Mom you’re going to make there right?” It has that assumptive uptick, that’s what it’s called, at the end of the sentence and it jars your brain because you’re not listening. We don’t really listen to the words people say, we listen to how they say it, and it sounds assumptive. It sounds like this person expects me to say, “Yes,” and we don’t like to let people down. So I don’t want to let my son or daughter down. I don’t even know if I said I’d take them for ice cream, but they sound really certain like I was supposed to, and before you know it you’re getting them chocolate vanilla with strawberries, right? And you don’t even know how it happened.
Be aware of the tonalities that they use. That’s one thing that’ll really help you because then you’re like, “Son, I know what you’re using right now. You’re using that high status vocal tonality voodoo on me and it’s not going to work.” So that’s one, but the other one is in the book we talk about that there’s three major tonalities that people use. There is the seeking rapport tonality, which means that it goes up at the end of a sentence. So it might a statement, but you say it is a question.
The optimal example I think of right now is Ron Burgundy. Where they change the script in Anchorman and Will Ferrell go, “Hello San Diego. I’m Rob Burgundy?” And it goes up at the end. You turn a statement into a question. I’m going to talk about why that’s bad in a second. The second one is neutral rapport, which is how I’m talking right now, it’s just a straight tonality. It doesn’t go down, it doesn’t go up. Then there’s breaking rapport tonality, which is almost talking down to someone. And it’s where at the end of a sentence, you go down with tonality. So like, “What do you do? Where are you from?? It’s a little-
Jason: Condescending, it’s a little antagonizing, but what it signals is when you use that breaking rapport tonality and you just use it deliberately, not a lot but in specific situations where you want to signal, “Hey, I’m still the authority here.”
Jason: That’s what it does. Imagine the phrase, “Talking down to someone.” That’s what you’re doing. You don’t want to do it for the full sentence, but if you’re on a sales call, and you’re selling the other person something, but you want to be seen as the celebrity and the authority, and the expert in the sales call at the start of it call, the first ten seconds, you should be using assumptive tonalities and breaking rapport tonalities to establish that in this conversation, “Hey, I’m the leader here. I’m the decision maker here. I’ll tell you if you deserve this product or not and then we’ll go from there.”
That’s what the that tonality does. It’s also really useful in relationships, but parents a lot of times, if they’re not aware of it, they will command their son or daughter to do something, but they’ll do it with that seeking rapport uptick tonality. “Hey, will clean your room? Will you please just clean the room? Will you go to bed?” It sounds like a question, it doesn’t sound like a statement.
Craig: Right, now the child is in charge.
Jason: Yes, you’re literally putting the child in charge on an unconscious level, and honestly if children ruled the world, would it better or worse? I don’t know. I like kids, but-
Craig: It’d be entertaining, as entertaining as it is now.
Jason: TV would be better, I know that. But if you are doing that with your children, of course they’re not going to respond. You are saying, “Hey, you’re the decision maker, but can you clean your room? Can you do your homework please?” It’s that would you maybe kind of, you need to come through. If you’re going to tell them do something, you need to come through with that, we call that commanding a challenging tonality with that authoritative and breaking rapport. So it’s not, “Can you clean your room?” It’s, “Hey, clean your room.” It goes down at the end, it’s so subtle. How long does it take to learn that? Takes one second. You don’t have to do incantations for 90 days, and it’s just real quick.
All of a sudden you will notice your son or daughter just, “Yeah, of course.” They just start responding to you with much work compliance, and a lot more respect than they were before.
Craig: Excellent. That’s an art. So now people have this for every area of life. Can you walk us through some real work examples? Now we had one before that wasn’t necessarily safe for work, but it was an amazing overnight, literally overnight change in status of an individual who went out and got what they wanted, and you’ve talked about, “Hey, you can change your walk in a second. You can change your vocal tonality in a second.” So walk us through how somebody got raise or new business, or made a real estate deal using high status.
Jason: So as we’ve talked about before, Craig, we have over 10,000 success stories at this point. They’re all tracked and verified, it’s crazy. I think the reason we have all these success stories is because this stuff works instantly. Most personal development it takes forever to change your mindset, and your partner, your patterns of thinking, but this is just change your voice, change your walk. You could you do it all in a day and everything changes.
I have a guy who, actually one of my personal clients, who a year ago was making 20 grand a year teaching paintball actually. And now a year later, he has his own business. He travels the world. He was in Bangkok, in Paris, in Tokyo. He was in Brazil, he’s just living the dream and he’s making one and half million dollars a year right now. It took a single year. And all the stuff he does, he has an online business, but all of it. He doesn’t write copy, he doesn’t know how to write copy. He just knows how to be high status on video and get responses, and get people to send him money for his product service that way.
I’ve another guy, a plastic surgeon in Chicago, who I’ve seen transform incredibly. He comes to all my events, and he’s a guy who already had a great business in Chicago. He’s one of the top plastic surgeons there. He has multiple location, he has other doctors he’s in a partnership with, but he’s in his forties and he’s alone, and he can’t find a relationship. All the girls he finds it’s either this or that or whatever. He’s not attracting the right people. He becomes high status. He fixes just a couple things. With him it was just vocal tonality.
I saw a cool story earlier today, there was a kid who went into a bank because he just needed to go into his account, and he walked out with a job. He had no interest in it, it was just like the way he looked at them, the way he talked to them. There’s just something about high status people, that we just want to give to them. We want to give them opportunities. We want to be around them. They make us feel better about ourselves. It just goes on, and on, and on.
We have real estate agents, copy writers, business owners, doctors, surgeons, and then I have a client of mine who invests a sizable chunk of his income because he doesn’t have a super high paying job. He’s a car mechanic. But his whole life has changed. His social life is booming. He’s happy all the time. He’s going to the gym every day, and it all started with him just making these shifts. He’s now the head mechanic at his shop, before he was just one of the lower guys on the totem pole.
Craig: I love it. So we can talk about this a long amount of time, Jason. I really appreciate it. We covered just a few of them now. Everyone can get all 12 of the high status techniques in High Status, your book. Now where can people get that?
Jason: So you just go to Highstatusobook.com. The page will take you and you can actually just fill in your information, and we’ll ship you the book for free.
Craig: Awesome, and if people wanted to take it up another level and go to your high status summit?
Jason: So I’m going to attach a rider here. Do not come to this event unless you are ready for massive transformation and breakthrough in your life. I need to warn you that you’re going to be in room full of action takers and ambitious people who operate at the highest of levels, and if ou’re just kind of like, “Yeah, I just kind of want an average life.” Then it’s probably not the place for you. If you don’t want an average life though, I would go to Highstatussummit.com.
Craig: Awesome, and I’ll be there, right?
Jason: And Craig will be rocking the stage in high status style there. We’re all very excited for that, yeah.
Craig: Awesome, awesome. This was a lot of fun to catch up, so thank you very much. Jason Capital, author of High Status.
Hi, this is Craig Ballantyne, host of Early To Rise Radio. Have you ever wanted to become wealthier, healthier, wiser, or just have more time to appreciate the finer things in life? On this show, we reveal what high performers are doing every day to be more successful WITHOUT sacrificing their personal lives. Early To Rise Radio is sponsored by The Perfect Day Formula. Get your free copy of this game-changing success guide at FreePerfectDayBook.com.