My coaching client, let’s call her Jenny, had a dilemma. She was simultaneously the co-owner of a successful health publishing company and the mother of two boys under the age of three. Her company had experienced a meteoric rise from virtually no sales in 2008 to thousands of sales of her program per day by 2011, yet she was struggling to separate work and family life.
In our first coaching call we focused exclusively on setting up her weekly schedule to dedicate blocks of time to specific tasks. She went from having a daily to-do list that was longer than her organic grocery shopping list to a small set of important items that must be done on specific days of the week. For example, on Monday, she dedicated two three-hour blocks of time to content creation. In contrast, Tuesdays were dedicated to email and spending time in activities with her three year old son. We were off to a great start in making her more happy and productive.
But one obstacle remained on her dedicated work days. She struggled to find the “off button”. Surely you can relate. It’s 5pm – or whatever your quitting time might be – and you know it’s time to leave work and go home to enjoy dinner with the family (or perhaps you have to run your children to one of their nightly activities). You want to be there, to be present for your children, but your mind continues to be “on the clock”, thinking about particular work problems, tasks that didn’t get done, or worse, items that need to get completed first thing in the morning.
Fortunately, there’s a solution. We had Jenny implement this after our last coaching call and it’s made a tremendous difference in her mindset. The technique also allowed her to better enjoy the time spent with her family, and just as importantly, to be present with less stress than she had in the past.
Increased happiness and less stress come from enjoying the present. As In his excellent book, “The Gap”, Dan Sullivan lists 12 strategies for better living. Number four is, “Increase ability to be present on daily basis in ALL situations.” And as Jim Rohn once said, “Wherever you are, be there.” That’s what you are aiming to do with following two step brain dump and work day transition.
Here’s what you’ll need to do to achieve this. It’s a simple solution that takes little more than five minutes and requires nothing more than a blank piece of a paper and a pen. You’re going to do an end of day brain dump, and it’s an effective activity to do right after you’ve made your short list of priority tasks to accomplish the next day. It’s also something that you can and should do after any activity that gives you a lot of good ideas, like exercising or having a shower. And it’s a quick task that you should do before any important thinking when you need a clear mind.
Let’s work through a specific example. Recently, my friend Mike Whitfield asked the following question on the ETR daily Success QnA. “Craig, what do you do to ‘turn your brain off’? Even when I’m supposedly relaxing, ideas are running through my head and I seem to not shut down. In other words, I can’t seem to find my ‘off’ button.”
I replied by explaining the brain dump solution. “Mike, let’s say you promise your wife and son that you’ll be done working at 5:30pm tonight. In order to do that, you’ll need to grab a blank piece of paper (or open a blank word document) at 5:25pm and write down everything going through your head. Write fast and furious. At 5:30pm, you’re finished.”
That will help clear your mind. Now there’s one other easy step I recommend you take in order to make the transition from work to play, particularly if you work at home like Mike does.
As I explained, “Complete a ‘mindset shift ritual’ – perhaps pouring yourself a cold glass of unsweetened iced tea – that signals ‘End of the work day!’. The brain dump plus the ritual will give you a relaxed mind that can best enjoy family time or to deal with the stress of a busy household and the myriad of activities, car rides, and conflicts that will need to be solved at home. You’ll be a much more effective parent and/or partner if you can leave work at the office, even if you work at home.
You’ll get the odd idea here and there, but you’ll be much better at ‘being present where you are’ with this approach). Of course, don’t feel bad if you can’t completely turn off your brain. It happens to the best of us, literally. If it were easy to turn off your brain and to never be excited about your projects, that would be an even worse scenario.
[Ed. Note. Craig Ballantyne is the Editor of EarlytoRise.com and Financial Independence Monthly. He also coaches executives of companies with sales over $1 million. Later this summer, Matt Smith and Craig will be offering a new virtual private mentoring program for Financial Independence Monthly subscribers.]
How to Turn Your Brain Off and Relax,