What You Need to Know Today: March 9

Good afternoon, Early Risers!

Here’s what you need to know

TECH

Facebook, stop trying to make Fetch happen. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office just granted Facebook a patent for Generating a Social Glossary (read: slang detection software). No word on whether or not Facebook plans to do anything with the patent, but many people are speculating the software could be used to improve targeted ads, and display more relevant content in your Newsfeed. Regina George was asked to comment.

Hilton is testing a new robot concierge. “It’s much more natural. It’s something that people can identify with that allows them to have a much more insightful interaction,” says Rob High, IBM Fellow, VP, CTO Watson. Clearly Rob has never interacted with a human before or he’s literally high. Hilton hotels have teamed up with IBM Watson to test the world’s first robot concierge. You have to see this to believe it. I give it a week before Connie gets abducted.

+ If you think Chess is hard… Google’s AI just won its first match of Go (Chess’ older brother) vs. a top Go player in the world.

CAREER

Personal finance guide for normal people. “The millennial generation has redefined how young people manage their money. Having witnessed the near-collapse of the global financial system in 2008, the 84 million Americans born between 1981 and 2005 tend to be far more cautious with their money than earlier generations — they save better, contribute more to their 401(k)s, and prioritize having zero debt. Now is the time to get financially literate,” says Wakefield.Wakefield teamed up with Wealthfront — the online investment management company — and put together this guide to 21st century personal finance.

Applications to Seth Godin’s altMBA program are open againSeth’s latest blog post is here with details.

Your open office survival guide. Chatty coworkers? (looking at you, Patrick) No problem. A pair of over-the-ear, noise-canceling headphones should do the trick. Uncubed shares their best practices for workers and bosses to cope with the struggles of open offices.

LIFESTYLE

Is selling pre-peeled oranges really that nuts? On March 3, advertising creative Nathalie Gordon spotted a plastic box at her local Whole Foods with a pre-peeled orange in it. Gordon snapped a photo of the orange and tweeted: If only nature would find a way to cover these oranges so we didn’t need to waste so much plastic on them. As you can imagine the Internet went nuts and Whole Foods was shamed into removing all pre-peeled oranges from its shelves. But here’s where the story takes a twist. After Whole Foods tweeted an apology for the oranges, a blogger who writes for Crippled Scholar pointed out that pre-peeled oranges actually improved life for people who can’t otherwise eat the fruit. Think: people with Cerebral Palsy, arthritis, and any other handicap involving fine motor control. The blogger then made the comparison to other pre-cut and pre-peeled fruits like pineapple, watermelon, cantaloupe. Read the full story.

+ Ever wonder what it would be like to hire someone to be your hands (literally)? Sol Orwell did it and wrote about his experience here.

#NOWYOUKNOW

The Truth About the Apple Encryption Case

From TheNextWeb.com

Speaking at Common Cause’s ‘Blueprint for Democracy’ conference today, Edward Snowden used his time to speak out about surveillance, personal liberties and of course, the San Bernadino iPhone.

“The FBI says Apple has the ‘exclusive technical means’ to unlock the phone,” Snowden said. “Respectfully, that’s bullshit.”

Snowden expanded on Twitter. Read more.

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