Don Hauptman was an award-winning independent direct-response copywriter and creative consultant for more than 30 years.
He may be best known for his headline “Speak Spanish [French, German, etc.] Like a Diplomat!” This familiar series of ads sold spectacular numbers of recorded foreign language lessons for Audio-Forum, generating revenues that total in the tens of millions of dollars. In the process, the ad achieved the status of an industry classic.
Don’s work is mentioned in three major college advertising textbooks, and examples of his promotions are cited in the books Million Dollar Mailings (1992) and World's Greatest Direct Mail Sales Letters (1996). In a column in Advertising Age, his name was included in a short list of direct-marketing “superstars.”
He has a parallel career as a writer on language and wordplay. His celebration of spoonerisms, Cruel and Unusual Puns (Dell, 1991), received rave reviews and quickly went into a second printing. His second book was Acronymania (Dell, 1993).
Recently, Don retired from full-time copywriting in order to focus on other interests, including his passion for “recreational linguistics.” He is at work on a new book in that genre. He is a regular contributor to the magazine Word Ways and writes “The Language Perfectionist,” a weekly column on grammar and usage, for Early to Rise.
Don is author of The Versatile Freelancer,an e-book from American Writers and Artists, Inc. (AWAI) that shows copywriters – and almost anyone – how to diversify their careers into consulting, training, critiquing, and speaking.
Read Don Hauptman's previous newsletter articles below:
A contentious issue among language enthusiasts is the use of the split infinitive. Before reviewing the arguments of the two sides, let’s look at a few examples: “It is even possible to legally download textbooks free, thanks to some new sites and services.” “This is a chance to constructively harness the idealism of thousands of Americans….” “In New [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Jun 24, 2011
Can you spot any mistakes in these quotations, all found via online search? “How significant are directory listings in regards to SEO?” “I think we are not that much more evolved than ‘primitive’ man in regards to language use concerning spiritual belief.” “What Couples Need to Know With Regards to a Contested Divorce” In The Accidents of Style, Charles [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Jun 17, 2011
It’s been a while since I wrote about mixed metaphors in this column. So let’s review. A mixed metaphor is a combination of figures of speech that unintentionally results in an incongruous or impossible image. This anecdote supplies a perfect example of the error: A sportswriter interviewing a basketball player asked how his team was doing. “The [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Jun 10, 2011
In a recent news report, a think-tank executive was quoted as follows: “There is no Obama doctrine because the president is not doctrinaire.” The remark might have been intended as a clever pun, but it’s confusing and misleading. A doctrine is “a principle or body of principles.” Its literal meaning is neutral. Religious doctrines do exist, but [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Jun 3, 2011
Consider these comments, found online: “All the kits in this bundle are so fun.” “Why is college so fun? No parents!” “How fun is your workplace?” In these quotations, the word fun, a noun, is used as if it were an adjective. It’s not good English. Why do people do it? [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, May 27, 2011
Can you spot anything wrong with these sentences, found online? “A rich mixture of ylang-ylang and palmarosa essential oils creates a sensual aroma.” “Soulful Situations is a sensual sound experience that offers soul, jazz, R&B and beyond.” Article Title: “Heightening the Sensual Experience of a Well-Designed Landscape” In all of the above cases, sensual should be sensuous. Why? A reliable [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, May 20, 2011
Every few years, my friend Mardy Grothe assembles a new collection of quotations. The defining characteristic of these anthologies is that all the entries share an interesting or quirky theme. His latest work, Neverisms, just published, is generating a lot of favorable attention in the media and among his many admirers, myself included. A neverism (Mardy [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, May 13, 2011
Everyone has pet peeves – those irritating verbal tics and bromides that are the linguistic equivalent of fingernails scraping across a blackboard. The following sentences illustrate one of mine: “While we might be a bit partial to the Lamborghinis, the Aston Martins and the Bugattis of the world, we’d be foolish not to openly admit our [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, May 6, 2011
I recently wrote a column on what may be the 14 most common misspellings in the English language. But additional candidates can readily be found. In a newspaper article about automated parking garages, the word palate was used repeatedly for pallet. A pallet is “a portable platform used for storing or moving cargo or freight.” A [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Apr 29, 2011
Consider these three sentences, all found via online search: “As per our discussion, I am sending you the details of the American Airlines Inbound Campaign.” “Bryan, as per your request I am posting this as an answer.” “This article lists three websites that can be used to play music as per your mood.” The authoritative language guide Garner’s Modern [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Jul 8, 2011
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