Did you know that elephants are trained to stay where they are by tying a rope around one of their massive legs and attaching it to a peg in the ground? Can the peg and rope really hold back an elephant? Absolutely not!

Then why does it work? Because elephants grow up believing it will. Maybe they tried pulling away when they were young with no success. Maybe they were injured by their action. After enough failures, they stop trying. They no longer test the restraint, and confine themselves when tethered to the rope.

During the course of my life and career I have run into many people (and no doubt will run into many more) who are holding themselves captive with their own “elephant tether.”

Cheryl, for example, one of my co-workers years ago, was limiting herself and her goals by always seeking approval from her mother before taking action. Cheryl was a grown woman with a husband, two children, and a nice career. However, she felt the need to filter every decision through her mother. She was still trying to play by her mother’s rules – instead of making her own.

I don’t think Cheryl realized her mother was the peg and rope preventing her from pursuing her own idea of a happy, fulfilling life. I mean, so what if Mom doesn’t approve of your kids eating hot dogs or staying up past 8:00 p.m. on a school night?

But following guidelines set by your parents isn’t the only “elephant tether” that could be keeping you from achieving what you want out of life. Maybe it’s one of these:

1. The Reactive Tether

The hustle and bustle of “normal” life often sets up the reactive tether. Your in-laws announce an unexpected visit, so you immediately change your plans to accommodate them. Your co-worker calls in sick on the day of an important client presentation, so you call the client and cancel. Whenever you notice that your car is down to a quarter tank of gas, you can’t concentrate on anything else until you get it filled.

These are just a few examples of situations that can make you fall victim to the reactive tether.

By panicking instead of taking control, you are sabotaging yourself. Is this a good time for the in-laws to visit? If it is not, simply tell them – and offer alternate dates. If your co-worker called in sick, decide whether you’d rather reschedule the presentation or handle it yourself. And if you’re always worried about running out of gas, all you have to do is implement a new routine of never letting the gas gauge go below half a tank.

2. The Full Disclosure Tether

It amazes me how often people feel they need to explain, in great detail, why they can’t do something or be somewhere. In both business and social environments, the person requesting an answer to an “Are you available?” question is really only looking for a Yes or No. If you give them more than that, what you’re really doing is making excuses to yourself.

The best response is either “Yes, count me in” or “No, I have a conflict.” And then go silent. If you can’t make it, the other person will likely suggest an alternate date and time … and everyone moves on.

3. The Shyness Tether

Business seems to be the one place where shy people can just as easily shake or shine. Many shy people (and we all have our shy moments) thrive in the business world because it gives them a “role” to play. As long as they are acting “on behalf of” or in the best interests of the company, they find the strength to do great things.

If the shyness tether is inhibiting your success, you can learn to push that discomfort aside. One way is to give yourself a mental cue – such as “It’s showtime!” – to legitimize the bold action you know you should be taking.

Test this self-imposed barrier. You might surprise yourself. Don’t retreat from any opportunity to discuss team projects or hold yourself back from networking at company events.

The power of “elephant tethers” to restrain you is only in your imagination. YOU have the power to free yourself from them to enjoy life and achieve your goals.

Of course, there will always be boundaries and rules that have to be followed. Judicial laws aside … most of the others are just guidelines. I mean, think about it. Is there a rule against singing too loud in church? Not really. Your spouse may nudge you to tone it down, but it is unlikely that you will be asked to leave.

Don’t get me wrong. I am actually a big follow-the-rules guy. Why? Because I like structure in my life, and most rules are those I would choose to follow anyway. Yet I don’t accept the notion that I have to follow all rules all the time.

Examine your life for self-imposed “rules” you are following that are holding you back. Test them. Think how to break free of them. Create better rules to live by and see your progress grow.

P.S. You control your own efforts at self-improvement. But there is no shame at all in getting a little help along the way. I want to share my personal success strategies with you, including a systematic way to adopt a “mindset” that will allow you to set and achieve all the goals that are most important to you.

These are the same strategies that allowed me to retire comfortably at 36 (although I couldn’t stay away from office, so now I’m “semi-retired”), indulge in my lifelong dream to be a pilot (I hold two world airspeed records), and dedicate my life to helping others follow my path.

Let me inspire you to find your own freedom to move forward.

Oil Is Getting Harder and More Expensive to Find

By Michael Masterson

Oil production is declining at double the rate previously estimated, the International Energy Agency just reported.

Oil fields have been drying up for years. And it’s good to see that we are getting more realistic numbers. But it doesn’t matter whether the rate is 3.7 or 6.7 percent right now. What matters is that nobody is doing anything about it.

Faced with low demand and low prices, oil companies have cut exploration. And development of alternative energy sources has been set aside.

Meanwhile demand for oil in India and China continues. Gradually Western demand will increase too. One of these days we will wake up to discover that we are “suddenly” short. Demand will soar. Prices will skyrocket. And recovery will sputter to a halt.

Much of the world may be shortsighted when it comes to oil. But you can take advantage of the coming crisis with help from Investor’s Daily Edge.

A New Weapon Against a Silent Killer

By Michael Masterson

The amino acid homocysteine is a natural part of your body’s system. But if you have too much of it, it can be damaging. Studies have linked to heart disease, stroke, Alzheimer’s, cancer, and even macular degeneration.

To keep homocysteine levels at a healthy level, Dr. Sears and the Total Health Breakthroughs team have been recommending B vitamins —especially folic acid. Now there is a new active form of folic acid called 5-MTHF. One study showed that it can raise folate levels in the blood an amazing 700 percent! That’s better, Melanie Segala says, than synthetic forms. In fact, she says it can be “a life saver.”

One in two Americans has a gene variant that makes it difficult to process synthetic folic acid. Using 5-MTHF might be a breakthrough for them. For updates keep your eye on Total Health Breakthroughs.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Daily Issues, Self Improvement .