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"I'm proud of my kids; they are doing what they want to do."
- Keith Emerson
What Do You Want for Your Children?, Part 2
By Michael Masterson
On Monday, I told you what K and I have done to help our children become financially (and emotionally) independent. And, I'm proud to say, it looks like we've done a pretty good job.
We had dinner last night with B and E, close friends who have taken a somewhat different approach to raising their kids than we have. "I won't deny it," B said, "We've spoiled them. But I don't think giving them things affects the way they turn out. You can give them lots of material things without hurting their chances of becoming good, hardworking adults with good values."
She may be right. Their kids are good-hearted, hardworking, and well-mannered.
D is still in college and thus still supported by his parents. But he makes spending money by working as a bouncer on weekends and will make $30,000 to $40,000 this summer working for a real estate company. (He did almost as well last year.) And from what I've seen of his business-building skills, he'll be richer than E and I put together by the time he's 30.
C may have more trouble becoming financially independent. She's currently living in a beautiful apartment in New York City that her parents subsidize. ("It's a double standard," E admits. "I wouldn't think of doing that for D.")
The truth is, B and E and K and I are all very happy with our own and each others' children. Our method had its advantages. (Our boys are all big readers, having been deprived of TV.) And so did B and E's indulgent method. (C and D have high self-esteem and great expectations in terms of their career choices, a result of parental largesse that some European studies, according to The Wall Street Journal, confirm.)
What about giving your children the opportunity to come into the family business? B thinks that poses a danger. "If they know they can make easy money one day working for Mom or Dad, they may sit back and take it easy, instead of getting out into the job market and making things happen," she says.
It doesn't look like this will ever be a problem in our case. Sons One and Two want nothing to do with the old man's business. Still, when you're a successful businessperson, it's something to be aware of ... and watch out for.
That said, here are some ideas on how to help your kids grow into independent adults (some from The Wall Street Journal):
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Don't give them things just because they want them. Explain why. This is the first and most important value- and wealth-building lesson they need to learn.
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Have them contribute to household chores without compensation. Again, explain why - that this is how they can contribute to the family, something they should be happy and proud to do. Don't overburden them with chores. A few hours on weekends should be enough.
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Insist that they keep their own rooms clean and orderly. Explain that their rooms are not entirely their own and that they have to make them accessible to and presentable for guests on occasion.
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Let them work extra hours for a reasonable wage. This becomes their allowance.
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Teach them to save a good portion of their allowance. Buy a copy of Justin Ford's Seeds of Wealth program to teach them financial responsibility and assure their prosperity.
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Talk about your own financial struggles (if you had any). Admit your mistakes and tell your kids that you hope they can learn from you without committing the same mistakes themselves. (They probably won't, but they should hear you say it.)
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If your adult children ask for money or ask to move home, do not consent without working out a deal. Insist that they provide you with a formal, written document that explains how they plan to take advantage of your help, for how long they will be doing it, and when/how they will repay you. Have them attach a current income statement and a household budget to their "application" for your review.
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Whatever you do, don't give money to your children that you can't afford. Sacrificing your own lifestyle for them does double damage. It sends the wrong message about why you are in their lives ... and it creates a bad role model, as you are making it more likely that you'll end up financially dependent on the state (or them) when you get older.
Lipitor Users: Victims of Statistical Contortionists
Statistical contortionism is the art of converting healthy people into patients by using numbers to exaggerate a drug's benefits. A prime example involves Lipitor. In order to promote its use, drug companies and physicians consider the "relative risk reduction" of this drug - and ignore its "absolute risk reduction."
Lipitor promoters insist that those with so-called high cholesterol can achieve a 36% "relative risk reduction" in heart attack by using the cholesterol-lowering drug. Meanwhile, that same raw data can yield a more revealing "absolute risk reduction" of a paltry 1%. Absolute risk reduction is a more accurate number, because it compares the actual difference between treated and untreated groups of people. Unfortunately, it is not good for increasing sales.
Pushing absolute risk reduction under the drug-rug while magnifying relative risk reduction is a dangerous trend in advertising today. Disguised as science, it promotes drug use among healthy populations who are needlessly putting themselves at risk in terms of a drug's adverse side effects. (In the case of Lipitor, these include cancer and heart failure.)
(Reference: Hidden Truth About Cholesterol Lowering Drugs)
- Jon Herring
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The End of Mail a Friend
By David Cross
Changes on the Internet could seriously affect your business e-mail and website.
As a result of the proliferation of spam, Nigerian e-mail scams, phishing, phreaking ... new rules implemented widely in recent weeks place the onus (see Word to the Wise, below) on e-mail senders to prove that their e-mail is legitimate and not from a forged or fictitious e-mail address. And many ISPs and large companies now use a technology called SPF (Sender Policy Framework) and Sender ID to verify that the sender of an e-mail is who they say they are.
Authenticating your outgoing business (and personal) e-mail is going to be a challenge. One overlooked aspect of the new rules will affect you, for example, if you use a "Send to a Friend" type of service to e-mail articles to friends and colleagues.
I sent my sister in England a Thanksgiving recipe from foodnetwork.com and copied myself on it. I noticed that the forwarded recipe came "From" me - it had my e-mail address in the "From" line. This is the way 99% of Send to a Friend services operate. But according to the new e-mail authentication rules, e-mails like this are considered to be forged - and ISPs are going to start rejecting them.
- David Cross
[Ed. Note: David Cross is Senior Internet Consultant to Agora Publishing in Baltimore.]
Today's
Action Plan
If you use a "Send to a Friend" service on your business website, here's what David recommends that you do:
1. Get your own sending domains authenticated, using SPF, Sender ID, and Domain Keys.
2. Change the "From" address for your "Send to a Friend" program to one of your own e-mail addresses, making sure the server that sends these e-mails is authenticated to send (as per Step 1, above).
3. Include the requestor's e-mail address and name in either the subject line or very early within the e-mail, so the recipient sees who it is "From."
4. Set the Reply-To address of such e-mails to the requestor.
Following David's recommendations, here's how it would look when Joe Bloggs sends e-mail to Jane Doe via abc123xyzcorp.com's website:
From: Joe Bloggs <friend@abc123xyzcorp.com>
To: Jane Doe <jane.doe@recipesfordeliverability.com>
Subject: Joe Bloggs sent you an article
Hello Jane Doe,
Joe Bloggs sent you an article from recipesfordeliverability.com |
The "Reply-To" address would be set to Joe Bloggs' provided e-mail address (in this case, friend@abc123xyzcorp.com). When Jane Doe hits "Reply," the message will go to that address.
It's Good to Know: The Best of Day of the Year to Shop for Something Big
As a loyal ETR reader, you know that we don't believe in spending a lot of time pinching pennies. Better to spend that time learning new skills to increase your income.
But ... if you have a major purchase coming up, you might want to highlight next Friday, November 25th, on your calendar. That's the day after Thanksgiving. And, yes, the stores will be madhouses. However, most major retailers want to start the Christmas shopping season with a big bang - so they offer great deals on big-ticket items.
You can take advantage of the "loss leaders" (a.k.a. "acquisition products") that they use to get you into the store. For example, a few years ago the Wal-Mart in my neighborhood was practically giving away 27-inch TVs. The parking lot looked like the store was being looted. Everyone was loading huge boxes into their cars.
My recommendation: Get there early. Many of these stores open as early as 6 a.m. (Hey, you're an Early to Riser. Shouldn't be a problem!) Grab the specific item(s) you're there for, and get out quickly.
Then go home and enjoy a nice leftover-turkey sandwich for breakfast.
- Charlie Byrne
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The Last Temptation of George Walker Bush
His Confidential Investment Advisor Helped Turn W's Stake of $600,000 Into a $14,900,000 Payout...
Now, the Man Who Transformed Bush From a Fledgling Oilman Into a Multi-Millionaire In Just a Few Years Has One More "Tempting" Move...
Click below for all the details.
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Word
to the Wise: Onus
"Onus" (OH-nus) - a Latin word for "load" or "burden" - is used in English to refer to an obligation or a difficult/disagreeable necessity.
Example (as used by David Cross today): "As a result of the proliferation of spam, Nigerian e-mail scams, phishing, phreaking ... new rules implemented widely in recent weeks place the onus on e-mail senders to prove that their e-mail is legitimate."
