How to Shift From Critical to Confident

ReframingCan you imagine where you would be at this point in life if there weren’t a self-criticizing bone in your body? You would probably be one of those egomaniacs you love to hate. Self-criticism is healthy. It guides you to personal improvement and keeps your ego within healthy limits.

However, negative self-talk mustn’t turn into a habit. If these thoughts seriously affect your self-esteem, then you have a problem that needs to be taken care of.

How to Replace the Habit of Self-Criticism with Self-Love

Modesty is a valuable quality that is often underappreciated. However, that doesn’t mean you should put yourself in a lower position and underestimate your potential. When self-criticism makes you afraid to improve your life, it’s time for a change.

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life

Make Self-Criticism Constructive

“I’m not pretty enough.” That’s an example of destructive self-criticism. Try turning it into more specific self-critiques that you can do something about. If you say, “I don’t like my style,” then you can invest in new, timeless pieces of clothing.

If the criticism is focused on permanent aspects of your being, such as appearance and health, it will bring you down. When you feel that you can change an aspect yourself that you don’t like, that healthy self-criticism will help you become a more accomplished person.

Critiques Are One Thing; Shame Is Another

When my self-talk got out of control, I decided to get help. My psychiatrist helped me understand that I was bringing myself down with shame and hate. My main thoughts were “I’m worthless. I’ll never talk in front of people again!”

Remember: you have great personal traits as well. Give yourself credit and focus on the positive elements of your personality. With time, you’ll let them outshine the flaws.

RaceYou Don’t Have to Win Every Single Time

You can’t imagine how much I criticized myself after losing a game. It didn’t matter whether I played tennis, chess, or Monopoly; I just hated losing. If I wasn’t good at chess, I thought I wasn’t good at anything.

We need to focus on making our egos healthier. Competition can be healthy, but we don’t have to win every single time.

Shift Your Focus Outwards

When a self-criticizing person is talking to other people, they are thinking about the things they say and how they sound. You know what’s better? Listening to what other people say. The trick is to focus your attention outwards. Avoid thinking about the way you respond and how you look.

Understand Yourself

Where is all the criticism coming from? Did your parents expect too much from you? Were you bullied at school? For me, it was a bit of everything. When I discovered the roots of the problem, I realized it wasn’t as significant as I thought it was.

When you understand where it’s coming from, you’ll probably realize how those reasons can be overcome. From that point on, you can move forward with your life.

The only way to change your perspective is by showing some self-love. It’s harder than you think, but it’s not impossible. Are you ready to make that change?

Further Reading:

I Have No Confidence… So This Is What I Do  

How to Make Confidence a Reality

How To Gain Confidence

About the Author: Rachel Bartee is a professional writer and editor at Edugeeks Club who finds her passion in expressing own thoughts as a blogger. She is constantly looking for the ways to improve her skills and expertise. Her life principle is “Always do more than you can”.

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