You have heard so much about it already: the earthquake that stunned China. The municipal buildings survived because they were built to earthquake standards. But the public schools collapsed because they were not.

That is mostly true – with one exception: the schoolhouse that Ye built.
 
When Ye Zhiping became principal of the Sangzao Middle School several years ago, his first job was to inspect the school building. He found many smaller problems that could be corrected easily – exit lights that weren’t working, fire escapes that needed fixing, etc. But the biggest problem – the integrity of the building itself – needed more than a quick fix.

Zhiping went to work immediately, raising funds, drawing up plans, getting approvals, and supervising contractors. Over a two-year period, he raised 400,000 yen (about $60,000), which he used to reinforce the building’s concrete pillars and rebuild some floors that had been weakened by water damage.

After the earthquake, parents rushed to the school. Teachers lined the children up outside and conducted a head count. When it was complete, said Edward Wong, reporting for The New York Times, the "fate [of the children] was clear: all 2,323 were alive."

Parents, covered in blood and dust, hugged their children. Everyone was crying happily. But no one was happier than Ye Zhiping. For in his heart, he knew he had saved them.

We won’t all have the chance to save schoolchildren from earthquakes, but we will – and do – have opportunities every day to make our world a little better than it is right now.

Look around you. At your desk right now. At your office, home, or community. Surely there is something you can do. Something that could be cleaned or fixed or in some other way improved.

That’s all Ye Zhiping did, if you think about it. He didn’t set out to save two thousand lives. He didn’t plan to be a hero. He simply noticed something that needed to be improved. And he did something about it.

What was special, if anything, about what Ye Zhiping did was his motive for acting. He didn’t fix the building because it was annoying him. He didn’t spend the money on leaky pipes or a bad heating system. The problem with the school building was one that could have easily been ignored. That’s what Zhiping’s predecessors had done – just shrugged their shoulders and hoped everything would be okay.

But instead of ignoring the problem, he went into action. To get the job done, he probably had to spend much of his spare time writing letters and filling out forms and holding fundraisers and cajoling politicians. He ignored his own comfort and risked the censure of school authorities because he believed it was somehow his duty. Not as a school principal, but as a human being.

My mother always said, "Leave the world a better place than you found it." Your mother probably said that to you, too. Take a moment right now to think about what you are currently doing to make your world a better place. But remember – we’re not talking about things that make the world better for you. We’re talking about making it better for others.

That’s the essence of goodness, if goodness has any value at all: taking pains for other people.

So how, exactly, are you doing on that score?
 
[Ed. Note: What are you doing to help make the world a better place? Let us know in the comments section right here.  Maybe your actions can inspire others.]

Success is like any other high in life. It is a rush. It may be as simple as getting the closest parking space. Ahhh, that little rush of victory! And all it took was driving around the lot three times.

Naturally, bigger goals get a bigger rush. They also usually require more pain.

But succeeding makes the pain seem unimportant. If that were not true, would women ever have a second child? They know the birth will be painful, and still they want to bring that second life into the world. As a father, I am grateful for that. After all, the births don’t cause men any pain. (We feel the pain later, when those babies have grown into moody teenagers.)

As sports fans, we celebrate when our team wins the pennant. But we can’t possibly feel as good as the players do – because we didn’t experience the pain it took for them to get there. I have never heard a winning athlete say "It wasn’t worth it. The practices were too hard. I was away from my family too much. Keep the trophy. I don’t want it." No. They cry, they leap into the air, they blow kisses, and the team members hug each other in the sheer exhilaration of that winning moment.

At the moment of success, we forget the cost.

Do we ever go too far? Or pay too high a price? You bet we do. Because we are flawed and sometimes ignore things we shouldn’t. In relationships, for example. Any joy in a success after a break-up will be tempered by the loss. But there will still be joy.

The ideal is to achieve success without paying too high a price. The person who figures that out gets the biggest rush in the end.

[Ed. Note: You can speed up the time it takes to succeed with the help of a Personal Life Coach. "Hire" your own for $1.25 a day right here. [link to TSAP] ETRgoalsetting

Author and businessman John L. Herman Jr. ("Herman"), who has owned more than 20 companies, has become an expert on why businesses fail. The above article was excerpted with permission from Hermanisms: Axioms for Business and Life. [link] ETRgoalsetting For more information about Herman and his business writing, please visit Hermanisms.com.]

When Bobby announced that he was going to write a novel by the end of 2007, his family was a little skeptical. Bobby has a demanding job in investment banking. Plus, he’s never taken a single writing class. And, to be truthful, the only thing he regularly reads is The Wall Street Journal. So when 2008 rolled around and Bobby hadn’t written more than 10 pages, no one was surprised. Except Bobby. He was upset and felt like he’d failed himself. And his dream of becoming a writer went down in flames.

It’s not that Bobby CAN’T be a writer. The problem is that he set an unrealistic goal for himself. And when you start out with an unrealistic goal, you are setting yourself up for defeat.

According to Professor Richard Wiseman – leader of a year-long study of goal-setting – you’ll have a better chance of reaching a major goal if you break it down into smaller short-term objectives. So instead of a big, broad goal like "I’ll write a novel this year," you might plan to write five pages of the novel every week.

The study discovered that men who made goals this way were 22 percent more likely to achieve them.

It also helps to make your goals very specific. For example, instead of saying, "I’ll go to the gym three times a week," you would make a commitment to go every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

[Ed. Note: Setting specific goals and breaking big dreams down into manageable bites are two of the simple yet powerful principles taught in ETR's Total Success Achievement Program. You can discover dozens more strategies for making your dreams come true with this comprehensive package. Learn more here.]

When I retired in the year 2000, I did not accept any consulting work until I had taken time to reflect on my career and how I could have made success come easier. My one complaint was that I felt I had worked too many hours to achieve it.

After considerable thought, I had a revelation: I was a diehard perfectionist and my perfectionism had doubled the time it took me to be successful!

My partners and associates often commented, "Bob, you are a great detail guy. We love your reports. We can always count on you to strive for perfection." I wore those comments like a proud war veteran who had been awarded medals.

The truth is, those "medals" were a millstone around my neck and were slowing me down. It took me years, but I finally realized that perfectionism is a time-wasting, money-losing goal killer.

It is amazing that it took me so long to realize that it’s more productive to "aim for good" and then "aim for better" than trying to be perfect every time.

Is perfectionism keeping you from accomplishing your goals?

Have you ever said anything like:

"I must find the perfect gift for my sister’s wedding."

"This report has to be perfect before I turn it in."

"I have to make sure my presentation is perfect before I meet with this client."

The sad truth is, nothing is perfect. Striving for perfection is foolish – and it’s impossible to reach. So trying to make things perfect can prevent you from ever achieving the things you want to accomplish.

The other nasty thing about perfectionism is that it can stall you – keep you treading water instead of progressing. In other words, if you’re always trying to make your novel perfect, you’ll never get it published.

Keep in mind that you are a work in progress. So, too, are your goals… works in progress. If you never start on them… you can never benefit from the results.

Beating perfectionism is tough work. And sometimes the very thought that you aren’t doing something "perfectly" can stop you in your tracks and stomp on your motivation.

The Slump Buster

If you feel your energy level sliding, or if you are losing your motivation, here’s a simple strategy that will help you get back in the game.

Maintain a list of small, meaningful tasks that need doing – things like replacing a light bulb, writing a letter, or returning a phone call. Take out your list when you feel a slump coming on and take care of one of those tasks. You will be out of your slump by the time you have completed it.

Why? Because you will have "stepped back" to catch your breath. Plus, accomplishing even small tasks is energizing. Results are always good!

Don’t let perfectionism be a trap or hold you back from working toward your goals. If, for example, you have to get a winning sales letter in the mail to achieve one of your business goals, the only thing you can do is take a shot at writing it. Write your letter and test it. Aim for good. Once you receive the test results, you will be ready to aim for better, because you will have more information to work with.

Here’s another "trick" for keeping perfectionism at bay: Apply the 90 percent rule to every task you take on.

Let’s say you have been slaving away at a project. You’ve been putting in long hours, and wearing yourself out. As a result, you are beginning to neglect your other job responsibilities – and even your health. This is a definite sign that you are being a perfectionist. It’s time to put the 90 percent rule to work.

Say to yourself, "Have I achieved 90 percent of what I was aiming for with this project? If not, I will continue to work on it. If so, I move forward."

Now this doesn’t mean that you don’t pour 100 percent of your energy and attention into important tasks. It just means that you stop trying to perfect every tiny detail.

It took me 25 years to learn the 90 percent rule. Do not wait that long to take advantage of this time-saving, money-making, and goal-achieving insider secret.

I stopped striving for perfection because it was too time-consuming and limiting. Had I implemented the 90 percent rule much earlier, I would have completed far more projects a lot quicker.

To this day, keeping my perfectionism under control is hard. However, when I consider "the bigger picture," I know that I have to push to move my goals forward. That’s why, for the past seven years, this has been my rule: 90 percent means good to go!

Don’t waste time and energy striving for perfect. Do the best you can. Then take time later to fine-tune your work. As Michael Masterson always says, "Ready, Fire, Aim."

[Ed. Note: You can change your life and accomplish all your goals with simple strategies like Bob's 90 percent rule. For dozens more ways to achieve your dreams - plus tons of goal-setting tools and motivation to get going - sign up for ETR's Total Success Achievement Program. Learn more here.]

"There’s a myth that all you need to do is outline your vision and prove it’s right – then, quite suddenly, people will line up and support you.

"In fact, the opposite is true. Remarkable visions and genuine insight are always met with resistance. And when you start to make progress, your efforts are met with even more resistance. Products, services, career paths… whatever it is, the forces for mediocrity will align to stop you, forgiving no errors and never backing down until it’s over.

"If it were any other way, it would be easy. And if it were any other way, everyone would do it and your work would ultimately be devalued. The yin and yang are clear: Without people pushing against your quest to do something worth talking about, it’s unlikely it would be worth the journey. Persist."

(Source: Seth Godin’s blog)

What does it really take to be "great"?

In the movie Rocky, there’s that pivotal scene. You know the one. It’s cold. It’s early. And the Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa, is bounding up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum.

Earlier in the story, he barely reached the top. But today, this day, we have the swelling of the trumpets… the soul-stirring chorus… and he’s been working hard. He’s strong. He’s ready. He’s… inspiring. Does he make it?

Here’s the thing.

I grew up in Philadelphia. I know those steps. In fact, the doors of my high school were a scant 1.3 miles from there. And from October until March, I ran that distance – and back again – almost every day after school. With about 50 other guys on our crew team. And with all of us playing that same Rocky theme in our heads. Only it wasn’t the same for us as it was on the big screen.

Our high school crew team was one of the best in the country – and one triumphant run up the steps wasn’t enough for us. On reaching the bottom of the steps, you would line up with the other guys and wait for a coxswain to jump on your back. (For those who don’t know, the coxswain is that annoying little guy with the bullhorn whose job it is to yell at you while you’re rowing the boat.) And then up the steps you’d go. And down again. And up. And down again. Over and over… and over. Until your legs turned to rubber and you were desperately sucking oxygen from the icy air.

It was grueling. And let me tell you, there were no trumpets.

So this is my message?

No, not yet. See, while my high school went on to win the nationals and all kinds of other races that year, I didn’t. I quit.

Given a second chance, would I have stuck it out? Maybe. Meanwhile, there was another guy on that same team named Rich G.

Rich was different. He worked harder. Not just harder than me, but harder than just about anybody. Even as a sophomore, he already had a captain’s slot on the senior varsity crew team. And when he wasn’t rowing, he was an emerging star on the football field too. No question, he was a born athlete. But he had a secret beyond that. One that eluded the rest of us.

Conventional wisdom would say that Rich had the willpower to be great. But I don’t think that was it. Not at all.

You might know Rich, by the way. After high school, he went on to college ball. And then turned pro. He ended up with the Oakland Raiders, where he really hit his stride. In 2001, they voted him Most Valuable Player (MVP) in the Pro Bowl. They did it again in 2002. That same year, Rich was voted MVP for the entire NFL. Nowadays, you can catch him – Rich Gannon is his full name – as a regular NFL analyst on CBS.

It plays like the American dream. Kid works hard, excels, and the rest of us are left to learn – yet again – that you can’t be a quitter if you want to get ahead. But like I said… I’ve come to realize that achieving something great, in sports or career or relationships or anything, is not just a question of willpower.

Let me explain…

The Myth of Willpower

No pain, no gain. Just do it. If it doesn’t taste good, it’s good for you. And I love that logic. It feels solid. It feels honorable. But here’s the problem: It doesn’t add up.

Think about it. How many enviably successful people hate every minute of doing what it takes to get ahead? How many runners grimace every time they strap on their running shoes? How many "A" students tear up when they crack open a textbook? How many entrepreneurs still complain about getting up early after years of growing a moneymaking business?

Not many at all.

Pick someone, anyone, in that position. They didn’t succeed because they’re masters at suppressing their displeasure. They don’t hate their lives or their choices. When they’re grunting their way up the mountain, they’re loving it. Every step of the way.

How often have you had to will yourself to do the things you love? Not often, I’m guessing. Maybe never.

So the next question is how they got there from here. And how we can get there ourselves, given what we want out of life.

I had a writing teacher who said, "You’re not a real writer until you can’t wait to get home to a blank page." I understand that now… because while I’m writing, time evaporates. And willpower has zilch to do with it. What makes it happen? I’m not sure myself. But if I had to guess, I can only pin it down to a simple but powerful shift in desire.

Throwing Sparks Across the "Desire Gap"

I see two lessons here.

First, if you’ve got a goal, forget about toughing your way toward it. You’ll need to work, sure. But you’ll never make it if that’s all the juice you’ve got powering your engine. Instead, take the time to embrace the process that’s going to get you there. How? By going past the superficial reasons you want to achieve that goal. ("To get rich.") By digging deeper to connect that goal to what it really means to you. ("My family will be so proud of me!")

In the abstract, lots of challenges don’t look worth the trouble. But in the details, the process becomes real… and rewarding in itself.

Now here’s the second lesson, and this one is more specific to us as marketers and business owners: What’s true for us is true for our customers too.

That is, much as you’ll try, your advertising can never "trick" a customer into doing something he doesn’t want to do… or into buying something he doesn’t want to buy. But somewhere in the details of what you’re offering, you might find those things that connect your product or service to something he deeply desires. So much that, simply by making that connection, he’s going to enjoy giving you his money.

It’s that simple.

This is almost entirely what good salesmanship is all about – finding the spark that bridges the gap between a prospect’s most deeply held desires and what your product can do.

How to get there?

The secret is nearly as accessible. All you need to do is look beyond the cliches and beyond the superficial assumptions other lesser marketers will almost certainly leap to. And, instead, venture into the specifics, the details.

In his classic book Breakthrough Advertising, Gene Schwartz called this "picking out the vital fact from a maze of information."

"What you are looking for in this product and in this market," he wrote, "is the one element that makes them unique. The idea you want – the headline you want – the breakthrough you want – are all wrapped up inside that product and that market. Nowhere else."

In your advertising, paint the picture of your prospect feeling the way he wants to feel. Talk about it, develop it, let him enjoy that feeling… as you walk him subtly down the path that will lead him there. That’s all there is to it.

Sounds easy, don’t you think?

[Ed Note: John Forde, a published writer and a direct-mail copywriter since 1992, is a featured expert in The Magic Button, ETR's step-by-step guide to starting a profitable Internet business. Applying John's proven techniques for writing promotional copy will make every customer contact an opportunity for a sale, whether it's your company's homepage, sales letters, emails, ads, and even editorial content.

Sign up for John's free weekly e-zine, The Copywriter's Roundtable.]

Despite all the great things going on in my life, I began feeling a little down in the dumps last week.

That’s not good. For creative folks like me – and for all marketing pros – depression can be a career killer.

When you’re depressed, your energy flees, your focus fuzzes up, your creativity goes AWOL – and if you don’t do something about it (and quick!), your income craters and your reputation and career chase it right down the tubes.

In short, depression is one of the costliest business problems any of us ever deal with!

Conversely, the ability to identify and neutralize depression quickly are two of the most valuable skills any entrepreneur or marketer could possibly acquire. They empower you to add scores more productive and profitable hours, days, and weeks to your year.

In my experience, depression comes from three places…

1. Too many drugs, so little time

When I say "drugs," I’m referring to my three personal favorites: (1) Grey Goose, (2) Starbucks, and (3) Marlboro Lights.

Once upon a time, I could pretty much party for 48 hours straight and never pay the piper. I could do Friday and Saturday at Sloppy Joe’s, ride the 14 or 15 hours home from Key West, and still show up for work bright and bushy-tailed first thing Monday morning.

These days, not so much. My 54-year-old body demands at least 72 hours to get over a weekend like that. And it puts me through a period of pretty intense chemical mopery before my wife, friends, total strangers, the local constabulary, my lawyer, and my creative muse begin speaking to me again.

Goes without saying: Losing 72 hours of creative time each week would make it nearly impossible for me to continue living the comfortable life to which I’ve become accustomed. And so I’ve been forced into a life of relative abstinence – punctuated, of course, by the occasional not-so-graceful swan dive off the wagon at vacation time.

Caffeine and nicotine are something else altogether. I can’t walk, speak, or think until I’ve had a couple of mugs of Joe in the morning. Problem is, it’s 2:00 p.m. before I know it, and by then, my get-up-and-go has got up and skedaddled.

And of course, it’s even worse if I’m inhaling nicotine – an infamous depressant – with all that coffee.

What’s the solution? The dreaded "M" word: Moderation.

On the plus side, there is a mood-brightening drug I can’t recommend highly enough – one that I absolutely hate getting.

I’m talking about endorphins. You get them by doing exercise: swimming, walking, running, that kind of stuff.

Work out for two weeks in the morning before you go to work, and you’ll be absolutely amazed at how much happier you are, how much more productive you become, and how much more moolah you rake in!

2. Lies your brain tells you

Has some terrible thing happened that gives you the right to be depressed? The promotion you just knew would make you a gazillion bucks flopped flatter than a flapjack? You’re broker than a sailor after shore leave, and the bill collectors are calling non-stop?

Hey – I’ve been there. It sucks.

But it doesn’t mean you have to suffer from depression-related brain-block, too!

The fact is, you get to choose how you feel in response to just about anything that happens to you.

See, everything that happens to you passes through a little "belief filter" in your brain – a conviction you’ve come to hold about yourself and/or the world around you.

These filters can be positive – as in "I’m brilliant," "I’m a winner," "I always come out smelling like a rose"…

… or they can be negative – as in "I’m a dope, a fraud," "I’m a loser," "Everything I touch turns to crapola."

Here’s the golden key: Nearly all the belief filters we have are utter nonsense.

The objective truth is, nobody is always a winner or a loser… creative or dull… brilliant or a dunce.

So the next time depression has you creatively hog-tied, try this…

First, identify the negative thought that triggered your lousy mood.

Then, ask yourself, "Is that thought valid?" (99.9% of the time it is not!)

And then ask yourself, "Is the belief filter that triggered that negative thought valid?" (Again: Almost never.)

Finally, ask yourself, "How should I change that belief about myself and/or the world to bring it in line with reality?"

You’ll be amazed at how quickly even the lousiest mood evaporates in the blinding light of the objective truth.

3. Self-obsession

I learned this simple fact of life many years ago – and re-learn it all the time. In fact, you could say it was my guiding principle for launching The Total Package e-zine last year.

The simple fact is, when my focus is on others’ well-being, I’m happier.

Conversely, I notice that when I’m trying to find things that will make me happy – new toys, vacations, etc. – I’m actually less happy.

So where’s your focus? Are you obsessed with your own feelings and the state of your life? If so, there’s a good chance those feelings are not positive ones.

Try doing something to improve someone else’s life today. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your mood lifts!

[Ed. Note: Clayton Makepeace has spent the last 35 years creating direct-mail, Internet, and print promotions that have sold well over $1 billion worth of products. Plus, as a direct-marketing consultant and copywriter, he’s helped four major direct-marketing firms at least quadruple sales and profits to well over $100 million per year each. Clayton publishes the highly acclaimed e-zine The Total Package (www.makepeacetotalpackage.com) to help business owners and copywriters accelerate their sales and profits. Check it out.

For dozens of goal-setting strategies that can help you bypass stress and other obstacles to your success, sign up for ETR’s Total Success Achievement Program. Learn more here.]

People ask me all the time how I run a $25,000,000 company, raise three small children, travel all around the world, AND manage a household. Essentially, they want to know how I create and maintain balance in my life.

In my experience, the answer is three-fold. It’s extremely simple, and something you have total control over. You just need to (1) have the right attitude, (2) make smart choices, and (3) develop positive relationships.

Step #1 to a Balanced Life: Having the Right Attitude

Charles Swindoll is famous for his writings about attitude. One of the things he talks about is the fact that attitude can make or break a company, a church, a home. And that we have a choice, every day, regarding the attitude we will embrace.

MJ, one of the acquaintances I’ve made in our info-publishing world, runs a nice little consulting company and has two beautiful, healthy little boys and a wonderful husband.

You would think she considers herself to be extremely fortunate. Yet every time I see MJ at an industry function and ask about her family, she starts in about how hard it is to run a company and raise two children. Not only that, she complains about how much more successful she would be if she did not have to take the kids to school and to soccer practice and to play dates.

I have never looked at my children as a hardship. It is a privilege for me (and my husband) to raise them and build our lives together. I am so much better at everything I do because of them. I am a better leader, a better manager, a better multi-tasker, and a better negotiator.

But this positive attitude is not something that magically happened to me.

Early in my career, I was asked to interview for a management position at Forbes – and the competition was fierce. All the candidates had a good education and work experience. Finally, they narrowed their choices down to two of us: me and Natalie.

Natalie had graduated from Harvard, had an MBA from Columbia, and had a reputation for being tough as nails. And seven years later, she still bragged about her perfect SAT scores.

It was finally the day of reckoning – the day of our last interview. But this was not just any old interview. We were both meeting with Steve Forbes himself.

The HR director made it very clear that Mr. Forbes was a busy man. That he would ask the questions and we would answer them. That he would spend no more than 10 minutes with each of us, and that a final decision would be made shortly after he met with us both.

Now Forbes being the intensely competitive place that it is, Natalie and I both wound up sitting outside of Steve Forbes’ office at the same time. As I looked over at her, sitting there confidently in her St. John suit, I remember thinking, "I know as much as she does. I can do this."

They called her in first. I heard Mr. Forbes’ muffled voice through the door. I heard her muffled reply. This went on for a while, and then I heard laughter. I thought, "How could that be? She was just supposed to answer some questions."

Thirty-five minutes later, Natalie swaggered out, shooting me a grin that said "Don’t even bother."

Then it was my turn. I went in. I answered Mr. Forbes’ questions. After five minutes, he thanked me and I left.

There was no laughter. No pleasant conversation.

As I opened the door to my Columbus Avenue apartment that I could not really afford, my phone was ringing. You guessed it. It was Forbes. They were calling to offer me the job!

After I’d been there a few months, I mustered up the courage to ask my boss how they made the decision to choose me over Natalie. Her answer rings true in my head more than 20 years later: "Mr. Forbes liked your attitude."

That single experience helped me understand what is really important and what is not. It helped me learn not to sweat the small stuff and not to get upset about things I have no control over. And that brings me to my next point…

Step #2 to a Balanced Life: Making the Right Choices

We all have to make hundreds of choices every day. It starts first thing in the morning. Do you eat your healthy high-fiber cereal with blueberries and skim milk? Or do you eat a chocolate chip muffin with a Starbucks specialty loaded with whipped cream?
 
As the day goes along, our decisions generally get more complicated and difficult to make.

Last summer, a friend in the industry sent out invitations for a huge networking party he was having at his home in Texas. I was honored to have been invited. Everyone who is anyone in our industry was going to be there. My friend Rich Schefren commented that this was the event of the year, the one that everyone who was lucky enough to be invited should attend.

I immediately RSVP’d, memorized the entire guest list, and thought about all the deals I could make that would benefit ETR. (You may remember the article I wrote recently about the importance of meeting everyone you do business with in person… and how cultivating those relationships can facilitate your deal making.)

That evening, while going over my travel dates with my husband, he pointed out that this networking event was being held on the first day of the new school year.

My husband encouraged me to go on the trip. He assured me that he could handle the kids that day. And, of course, I knew he could. But that was not the point. I told him that my daughter was only going to have one first day of fourth grade. And my son was only going to have one first day of first grade. And I wanted to be there for those once-in-a-lifetime occasions.

He told me to think about it for a few days to make sure I was making the right decision. So I did. I thought about what would happen if I missed the kids’ first day of school. I also thought about the business consequences of missing the event.

To help make this decision, I applied my two-two-two rule. I asked myself, "What will be the impact on both sides two weeks from now, two months from now, and two years from now?"

If I missed their first day of school, would my kids still be upset in two weeks? Would they still be upset in two months? And would the disappointment continue to echo in all of our hearts and minds in two years? I knew the answer was yes.

But I couldn’t just blow off the networking event. So I went through the same process. I figured that most of the people at the event would remember I had been there after two weeks. But I also figured that the majority of them would not remember I had been there after two months… and that none of them would remember I had been there after two years.

Guess what I decided to do? I skipped the networking event and took the kids to school. And four months later, my son still laughs about how I almost hit his new teacher’s car in the parking lot that day.

Of course, I did not just blow off the networking event. ETR’s Internet Marketing Director, Patrick Coffey, went and represented ETR proudly. He brought back tons of useful information, and I have since spoken with or met with everyone I would have seen that day.

This dovetails nicely with my final point on creating and maintaining a balanced life…

Step #3 to a Balanced Life: Developing the Right Relationships.

I was fortunate to have someone like Patrick to send to the networking event I missed. Someone who would represent me and ETR, our core values and our policies. I knew Patrick would see it as an opportunity for him – and that is exactly what happened. Many of the people he met there told me what a great job he did.

Now had I not cultivated my relationship with Patrick over the last 19 months, this would have been a lost opportunity for both of us, instead of a win-win situation. Patrick knew exactly what I expected of him, and he over-delivered.

It’s funny. Many high-level executives think that if they cannot be at an important business function, they would rather miss out completely than send a substitute. In fact, one sign of a good leader is that his or her business runs smoothly even when they are not present.

I pride myself on hiring and mentoring people who have as much potential as I do (if not more).

It is the same with my personal relationships.

I have a mother’s helper that my kids love… and she loves my kids. And though my friends and family know how happy this makes me, every once in a while someone asks me: "Doesn’t it bother you that your kids love Nora so much?" My answer: "Hell no!"

I want people in my life who are good for me. Patrick and Nora are two examples. These are positive relationships.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not Super Woman. And I have days at home and at the office that are more challenging than others. Sometimes, the only reason I can accomplish as much as I do is because I have a spouse who is my biggest fan, a spouse who never puts his career before mine.

We decided a long time ago that we could accomplish anything as long as we were in it together, as long as our goals were in alignment, and as long as our philosophies regarding success were the same.

As Michael Masterson has said, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. So when people tell me there is no way they can maintain balance between their business life and their personal life because they have soooo much work to do, I simply don’t buy it.

Everyone can have a balanced life. You just need to want it… and act to achieve it.

[Ed. Note: Discover more strategies for accomplishing all your goals with ETR’s Total Success Achievement Program. You’ll learn specific goal-setting techniques that can help you get out of debt… lose 10 pounds… start a profitable business… and blast through any obstacle along the way. Learn more about the Total Success Achievement Program by clicking here.]

After hearing a news report about the Beatles phenomenon in England, 15-year-old Marsha Albert wrote to her local Washington, D.C. radio station and asked, "Why can’t we have music like that here in America?"

Inspired by Marsha’s question, disk jockey Carroll James managed to get a copy of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" from a British flight attendant and introduced the song to his WWDC radio audience on December 17, 1963.

Within minutes, requests for the record flooded the station. Within days, radio stations all across the United States were playing the song. And Capital Records was forced to release it on December 26, three weeks earlier than scheduled.

According to Bruce Spizer, author of The Beatles Are Coming! The Birth of Beatlemania in America, when the band appeared on Ed Sullivan’s TV show on February 9, 1964, 73 million people – an unprecedented 40 percent of the U.S. population at the time – watched.

"There’s no doubt whatsoever that the Beatles would have conquered America anyway," Beatles historian Martin Lewis told USA Today. "But the speed and magnitude of that stratospheric kick-off could not have happened without Marsha Albert. If the record had been released on January 13th, as planned, kids wouldn’t have heard it 20 times a day, as they did during the school break. It would never have sold 1 million copies in three weeks. There wouldn’t have been 10,000 kids at JFK to greet the Beatles. Marsha didn’t start Beatlemania. She jump-started it."

That’s what a single, simple question can do.

Think about the couples who might never have met and gotten married had it not been for that old, reliable question: "Is someone sitting here?"

Think about the chances you might have missed in your own life by failing to ask "Can I?" Or "Would you?" Or "Is he?"

In 1982, I was working at a dead-end journalism job for a small Washington, D.C. publishing house. I knew it was time to get a move on if I didn’t want to end up bored silly and making a meager living for the rest of my life. But I wasn’t sure what to do.

As it happened, K had planned a week’s vacation for us in Key Largo, where her brother worked for a Jet Ski rental business. Since we were going to be in Florida anyway, I figured I’d schedule a few job interviews. Not because I was hopeful of finding a good job there, but because I wanted to write off the travel expenses as a tax deduction.

I had two possible leads. One was a colleague, a high-ranking editor at the Washington Post who, I figured, might know someone in Florida. The other was the name and address of a publisher in Boca Raton, FL who had been sending me promotions for his newsletters.

But to pursue these leads, I would have to ask questions – which is something I’ve always been reluctant to do, especially if the answer could be something I didn’t want to hear.
But I did it.

I asked the Washington Post editor, "Do you know anybody in Florida who might give me a job interview?" And I wrote to the Boca Raton publisher and asked, "Do you have a place in your organization for a person like me?"

As a result, by the time K and I left for our vacation, I had three job interviews lined up. One was with the editor-in-chief of The St. Petersburg Times. Another was with a news editor for the Miami Herald. And the third one was with JSN, the newsletter publisher in Boca Raton.

I met with each one of these guys en route. And by the time we reached Key Largo, I had three job offers. Getting three offers out of three interviews was an astonishing thing. And it left me with a dilemma.

Should I take the high road that might lead to a Pulitzer Prize and everlasting fame as a respected journalist? Or the low road – journalistic obscurity but with the implied promise of a Big Bag of Gold for my efforts?

Which one should I choose?

The only person who could really answer that question was me. But that didn’t stop me from soliciting opinions from even the most unlikely sources, including a 17-year-old pothead whose job in life was to refill the Jet Skis with gasoline.

After I told him my long story, he paused, took a toke on his joint, and said, "Go Boca."

Turns out that, after much soul-searching, I came to the same conclusion. And that decision was the trigger for all of the good things I have since accomplished.

But it all started when I forced myself to ask a few influential people the right questions at the right time.

[Ed. Note: Get Michael Masterson's insights into becoming successful in your business and personal life, achieving financial independence, and accomplishing all your goals on his new website. You'll find updates on all of Michael's books, news on upcoming ETR events, Michael's blog, and room to send in your comments and questions. Check it out today.]

A new client who agreed to sign up with you suddenly cancels.

A promised promotion evaporates.

The deadline your plumber swore to passes without anything having been done.

The trick to dealing with disappointments like these is to have a "What if it doesn’t happen?" plan in place almost from the start.

The idea is to create a Plan B every time you create a Plan A. And if you create a good Plan B and spend some time visualizing it (after you have visualized Plan A), you won’t feel disappointed if Plan A falls through.

If, for example, you are hoping to be in London for Christmas this year, go ahead and book the arrangements – but spend a few minutes thinking about what you could do instead if, for whatever reason, the trip falls through. (A special Christmas at home – celebrated in some new and interesting way – may turn out to be even better.)

A fallback plan also works in the event of an unforeseen interruption in your routine. Always being prepared with a list of tasks you have wanted to accomplish for a long time is a good way to turn unexpected down time into a rich, rewarding experience.

A few years ago, for example, I tore up my knee and had to have surgery that put me on my back for two weeks and off the Jiu Jitsu mats for six months. For someone with my schedule (and addictive mentality), this could have been very bad. But since I’d had prior knee injuries and, therefore, knew that I was likely to undergo this operation some day, I had developed a fallback plan that made the recovery time bearable.

My fallback plan for the two weeks in bed (and on painkillers – which meant I couldn’t do any meaningful work) was to catch up on all the great movies I had never seen or seen only once. My fallback plan for the six months of Jiu Jitsu inactivity was to use the time to rest and restore my shoulders and back, which were seriously ailing.

The movie-watching plan went very well. I saw two or three great movies a day – more than 30 in all. I also managed, during the second week, to read a half-dozen business publications that had accumulated on the corner of my desk. Far from feeling blue and abused, I was in a very good mood during that early period of convalescence – and that was entirely due to the fact that I felt like I was finally getting to things I had long wanted to do.

My fallback plan for the six months of inactivity was more challenging. I still went into the Jiu Jitsu academy every free moment (and I occasionally helped out with a lesson), but, mostly, I was frustrated by not being able to train again – a feeling that intensified as my knee got better.

But because I used that time to have my shoulders and back worked on, after putting it off for more than three years, I felt that I was accomplishing something. And because of all the care I took in healing my body, when I finally began training again, I was able to compete for the first time in years with an injury-free (though age-addled) body. That felt good.

Spend five minutes today asking yourself:

• "What positive development in my career am I counting on right now?"
• "What will I do if it doesn’t happen?"

Then ask yourself the same questions about your personal life.

If you don’t have a fallback plan, develop one. When you do, make sure it’s something you can be happy with. If it isn’t, work on it some more. You’ll find that the more time you spend refining it, the more attractive it will become.

And in case you unexpectedly end up with time on your hands, prepare now by making a list of projects and/or tasks that you have always wanted to do. (Have you been thinking about writing a novel? Researching your family tree? Have you long been frustrated because you can’t speak a foreign language? Can’t dance the salsa?)

Spend some casual time thinking about your "dream" projects, refining them, and imagining how you can make them happen. The more time you spend doing this, the more excited you’ll be about it. And then, when the time comes (and it almost certainly will), you will move from disappointment to anticipation in no time flat.

[Ed. Note: ETR’s Total Success Achievement program is designed to help you accomplish all your goals. Get weekly Power Surge Messages and twice-monthly teleseminars full of actionable advice and useful recommendations for achieving your dreams by signing up here.]

I’ve had an emotional attachment to Sylvester Stallone and his Rocky films since 1977. It all began when my then secretary told me she had seen a movie over the weekend that was a "must see" for me. She went on to say that Sylvester Stallone’s success with that first Rocky closely paralleled my own success with my first book.

She explained that Stallone had done it all. He wrote the script, raised the money, played the lead character, and produced the film. Unfortunately, there has been a several-hundred-million-dollar disparity between our respective returns on invested time and energy over the years, but I’m used to such inequities.

I’m still fascinated by Stallone’s amazing rise from troubled teenager to wealthy, famous superstar. Injured at birth, he has had a droopy lip and slurred speech throughout his life, making him as unlikely a movie star as a weightlifter with an Austrian accent and a name most people can’t pronounce.

At 15, his classmates voted him "most likely to end up in the electric chair." Then, after stumbling from one job to another for several years, Stallone came upon the mother of all stumbles: acting. This happened while he was coaching women’s athletics at the American College of Switzerland.

After some bit parts and a "light" porn film, he wrote his first script, The Lords of Flatbush, in which he cast himself as one of the four main characters. Believe it or not, I actually saw that film back in 1974 – an abysmal piece of work – and I remember Stallone well.

He played a somewhat blubbery hoodlum in a leather jacket – not exactly a matinee idol. At the time, no one could have convinced me that the pudgy guy with the speech impediment would soon become the most famous actor in Hollywood.

What’s so inspiring about Stallone is that his real-life success bears such a close resemblance to the success of his Rocky character. We’ve all read and heard much over the years about how every individual possesses a "hidden genius," and Stallone’s life is an archetypal example of this. He wrote his first Rocky script in just three days! That is genius – hidden genius, because he had never written a movie script prior to the incredibly bad The Lords of Flatbush, and he had limited experience with acting.

Had Stallone not stumbled onto acting in Switzerland, it’s quite possible he never would have discovered his hidden genius. Just think about that for a second. There would have been no Rocky series, no Rambo series, no Hollywood legend by the name of Sylvester Stallone.

So, clearly, the public at large stands to benefit when someone discovers his hidden genius. That being the case, if you would really like to do something for "society," you would do well to make a serious effort to discover your hidden genius – then exploit it to the max.

More recently, another hard-case-turned-success has fascinated me. He’s a television personality who discovered his hidden genius only after overcoming the twin demons of drug addiction and alcoholism.

The television personality I am referring to is the ultra-likeable Glenn Beck. There is no television commentator quite like him. He’s funny, knowledgeable, outrageous, polite, self-deprecating, well-spoken, folksy, and, above all, entertaining.

Beck has a nightly show on CNN Headline News, with many reruns throughout the evening and early morning hours. You heard right. CNN, the voice of socialist America, apparently made the decision to throw in the towel and go for ratings instead by bringing a hard-core conservative on board.

What’s amazing about Glenn Beck is that not only has he survived alcoholism and drug addiction, he’s also been through a divorce and, among other things, managed to go relatively unnoticed by the general public for more than two decades.

When Beck’s life was in a shambles, could anyone possibly have imagined that he would some day be a wildly successful television personality? Hardly. On the contrary, I’m sure people saw him as the bum he was.

Yet, beneath his bum exterior was a hidden genius – a genius Beck probably didn’t even know he possessed. His is a natural talent that started to come to the fore when he was exposed to talk radio at an early age, but it did not fully surface until he reached his forties.

All this begs the question: If a guy with a troubled childhood, slurred speech, and a droopy lip could become a film mega-star… and a former alcoholic and drug addict could become a major television personality… what could you accomplish if you could only uncover your hidden genius?

Given that the rewards are so high – not just monetarily, but, even more important, from the standpoint of leading a fulfilling life – isn’t the pursuit of your hidden genius a worthwhile undertaking?

Which brings about the second question: How do you go about such a pursuit?

The short answer is that you need to get out, do things, try things, make calls, network with people – take action. The odds against a person’s finding his hidden genius are overwhelming so long as he chooses to lead a mentally and physically sedentary life.

Remember that when it comes to finding a meaningful purpose in life, the first two questions you should ask yourself are: (1) What do I enjoy? and (2) What am I good at? And the answers to these two questions are also likely to lead you to your hidden genius.

Why? Because if you can find something you both enjoy and are good at, it would appear self-evident that you could accomplish great things by focusing intensely on whatever that one "thing" is.

I recognize that it’s much easier to talk about than actually do. However, the effort is worth it, because it could very well result in your hidden genius coming to the surface… and bringing you all you want in life.

[Ed. Note: Take a gigantic step toward achieving all your personal and professional goals - faster than you ever imagined - with Robert Ringer’s best-selling personal-development program. And sign up for his Voice of Sanity e-letter here.