It comes from a plot device invented by Alfred Hitchcock. He borrowed it from a shaggy-dog story that goes something like this:

A couple, riding in an English train, notice a tall man carrying a large, odd-looking package. They ask him what it contains. Instead of telling them to mind their own business, he says, “A MacGuffin.”

“What is that?” they ask.

“It’s used to catch tigers in the Scottish Highlands,” he replies.

“But there are no tigers in the Highlands,” they say.

“Well then,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, “it must not be a MacGuffin.”

End of conversation.

Latest News

• You read ETR Monday through Friday. But have you been missing Michael Masterson’s Journal on Saturdays? Check it out. It’s pure Michael. Unfiltered and uncensored. It will be in your inbox tomorrow.

“Critical to our business.”

“I was very impressed with ETR’s Bootcamp. The speakers and the experts brought in to teach us have given us a lot of tools to use, and I would say I could use 90 percent of them.

“I think this will be critical to our business immediately. I really enjoyed listening to MaryEllen Tribby. Her speech was very applicable to our business. Just the way she laid things out and the details, the step-by-step process to get our business to where we want it in the near future.”

David Patrick

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What MBA Students Have That You Couldn’t Get (Until Now…)

An unconventional course has appeared at Columbia University’s business school… at the London Business School… and at the Haas Business School at the University of California.

Says Brandon Peele, “I attribute 80% of my $120K MBA price tag to this one class. It changed my life in profound ways.” Now you can get the same life-changing benefits… From your home… For less than a thousandth of the tuition.

• On Wall Street, unemployment is at 7 percent. That is three percentage points lower than the national average. Executives at Goldman Sachs and other bailed-out brokerages are getting million-dollar bonuses. Meanwhile, regulations meant to cut down on the cheating and stealing have not been implemented. For brokers and bankers, it’s business as usual — but with taxpayers’ dollars.

Government is supposed to protect its citizens — not only from bodily harm but from this kind of thievery. Trillions are spent on wars against people who never attacked us. Yet little or nothing is spent to put a stop to the financial damage being done to us.

That is a shame.

Oh, well.

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What MBA Students Have That You Couldn’t Get (Until Now…)

An unconventional course has appeared at Columbia University’s business school… at the London Business School… and at the Haas Business School at the University of California.

Says Brandon Peele, “I attribute 80% of my $120K MBA price tag to this one class. It changed my life in profound ways.” Now you can get the same life-changing benefits… From your home… For less than a thousandth of the tuition.

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The major retailers are trying to stay in the game by appealing to thrifty consumers. Walmart says it will offer 100 toys at just $10. They had only 10 at that price last year.

“It’s a badge [for consumers] not to spend as much as they used to,” says The Limited’s CEO, Linda Heasley, in The New York Times.

And that’s where I see opportunity for the small-time entrepreneur. We can do things the big guys can’t, because we don’t need to buy our products in bulk.

Look for super-inexpensive Chinese imports. Then test those products in flea markets. If they sell briskly, order more and start raking in the dough.

And, of course, never send an e-mail when you’re angry, when it’s late at night, or if you’ve had a drink or two. Once it’s out there, you can’t take it back.

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Latest News

• ETR’s Info-Marketing Bootcamp is less than three weeks away. If you’ve signed up, have you made your hotel reservations and booked your flight? If you haven’t signed up, there’s still time. Don’t lose this chance to learn from (and meet) the best of the best: Clayton Makepeace, Rich Schefren, Joe Polish, and more. Find out all about who will be there and what they can do for your online business here.

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“I write to express my appreciation for the first article in today’s issue. I vow to use the suggestions of others to help me handle new ideas, regardless of their source.”

Patricia Bancroft

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Don’t Have Any “Start-Up” Funding? - It’s a myth that you need venture capital or loads of your own money to start a business online. Thousands of today’s most successful Internet businesses began as very small operations with just a few hundred dollars and a great game plan. We have that game plan for you. It will give you fast growth. And you’ll never have to worry about getting deep in debt. Read on…

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Newspapers and magazines and television experts were almost entirely focused on the auto industry, bank bailouts, and stimulus plans. And most of the research and reporting was done in New York or Washington. Very little of it was done out here where most of us live and work.

This is a sort of conspiracy of silence.

Big government isn’t interested in small business. Why? Because entrepreneurs don’t have enough lobbyists in Washington. And because the media has no idea of how important small business is to economic growth.

Mom-and-pop businesses are going bankrupt by the thousands, but you’ll almost never hear about it because nobody in New York or Washington cares.

But screw them. It doesn’t matter. We are the blood and bone of business in America. We will renew ourselves and we will get strong again.

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“This year I claimed $134,408 on my income tax return — all from copywriting!” – What do a retired engineer, a ballroom dance instructor, and a grocery store clerk have in common? They made more money than they ever had within months of finding out they could write sales letters. And they did it while working less than they ever had before. Hear their amazing stories here…

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Cameras trained on cash machines detect when somebody tampers with the card slot. And then the troublemaker gets a face full of pepper spray from nozzles on the ATM. The idea is for police to rush to the scene and arrest the incapacitated thief. So far, however, only maintenance personnel on their rounds have been hit.

A promising approach. But some kinks still need to be worked out.

(Source: The Guardian)

The upside (at least if you’re not a robot)? Employers are eliminating robot positions before laying off human workers.

(Source: Popular Science and The New York Times)

University of Edinburgh psychologists have determined that you stand the best chance of getting back a lost wallet if there’s a picture of a baby in it. They “planted” 240 wallets on highly trafficked city streets, and were pleasantly surprised to find that almost half of them were returned. Even more surprising, the rate of return appeared to be connected to the photos the researchers had inserted in the wallets. Eighty-eight percent of those with a photo of a baby were returned. Fifty-three percent of those with a photo of a puppy were returned. Forty-eight percent of those with a photo of a happy family were returned. Twenty-eight percent of those with a photo of an elderly couple were returned. And only 15 percent of the wallets with no photos at all were returned.

The researchers believe the overwhelming response to the photos of the baby reflects a compassionate instinct toward helpless infants that evolved in humans to ensure the survival of future generations. (Right!)

(Source: Times Online)

A recent study by the National Association of Theatre Owners showed that movie ticket sales were up in the first quarter of 2009, a 9 percent increase over the first quarter of 2008. Why? The trade group says it’s because going to the movies is a relatively inexpensive entertainment option. (They neglected to mention the $5 tub of popcorn.)

(Source: News & Observer and Kiplinger’s)

The researchers asked college students to keep their hands in icy cold water as long as they possibly could. During their “ordeal,” they were told to keep repeating either a swear word of their choice or a neutral word. The “swearers” reported less pain and could stand the water almost a minute longer.

So why does swearing help? The researchers think it might have something to do with the “fight-or-flight” reflex triggered by the brain when we are in danger. This primitive defense mechanism not only makes the heart rate climb (a reaction observed in the students who swore), it makes us less sensitive to pain.

(Source: Scientific American)