Don Hauptman was an award-winning independent direct-response copywriter and creative consultant for more than 30 years.
He may be best known for his headline “Speak Spanish [French, German, etc.] Like a Diplomat!” This familiar series of ads sold spectacular numbers of recorded foreign language lessons for Audio-Forum, generating revenues that total in the tens of millions of dollars. In the process, the ad achieved the status of an industry classic.
Don’s work is mentioned in three major college advertising textbooks, and examples of his promotions are cited in the books Million Dollar Mailings (1992) and World's Greatest Direct Mail Sales Letters (1996). In a column in Advertising Age, his name was included in a short list of direct-marketing “superstars.”
He has a parallel career as a writer on language and wordplay. His celebration of spoonerisms, Cruel and Unusual Puns (Dell, 1991), received rave reviews and quickly went into a second printing. His second book was Acronymania (Dell, 1993).
Recently, Don retired from full-time copywriting in order to focus on other interests, including his passion for “recreational linguistics.” He is at work on a new book in that genre. He is a regular contributor to the magazine Word Ways and writes “The Language Perfectionist,” a weekly column on grammar and usage, for Early to Rise.
Don is author of The Versatile Freelancer,an e-book from American Writers and Artists, Inc. (AWAI) that shows copywriters – and almost anyone – how to diversify their careers into consulting, training, critiquing, and speaking.
Read Don Hauptman's previous newsletter articles below:
In my reading, I’ve recently encountered many sentences like these: “‘The moral and ethical tone of any organization is set at the top,’ said Michael G. Cherkasky, chairman of the panel….” “There are strong moral and ethical reasons for why low-income Americans should not be forced to grapple with pressing civil legal matters…” “There is, therefore, no historical [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Jan 28, 2011
I found the following three sentences via online search. Can you spot anything wrong with them? “The recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has wrought havoc on sea and on land.” “China’s exports began to fall in November as the global recession wrought havoc on the textile, toy, and steel industries.” “This touch of scandal has [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Jan 21, 2011
Long before the Internet, jokes, lists, fun facts, and the like were circulated on old-fashioned paper. This sort of material was wryly dubbed “photocopier folklore” by Alan Dundes, a scholar who specialized in the phenomenon and compiled his discoveries into a series of books. One such item I recall was a list of the most commonly [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Jan 14, 2011
Ambiguous sentences can be unintentionally amusing, though they do no favors for readers, who are likely to be miscued and confused. Here’s a new batch, all of which I spotted recently in major newspapers: “Huge budget shortfalls are prompting a handful of states to begin discussing a once unthinkable scenario: dropping out of the Medicaid insurance [...]
By Don Hauptman | Thu, Jan 6, 2011
I found these sentences via online search. Can you see a problem with them? “The screensaver comes on for awhile and then goes blank.” “Good to leave DC for awhile.” “My husband and I are separating for awhile.” In all three examples, awhile (one word) should be a while (two words). Why? The word awhile is an adverb. It means [...]
By Don Hauptman | Thu, Dec 30, 2010
I’ve long been fascinated by acronyms. An acronym is a pronounceable word formed by the initial letters of a phrase, such as ASAP (as soon as possible) and SWAK (sealed with a kiss). For ages, curmudgeons have railed against acronyms and other abbreviations, calling them cryptic and confusing. But in a high-tech society, this age-old device [...]
By Don Hauptman | Thu, Dec 23, 2010
Consider these examples, found online: “Do you have to sweat in order to lose weight while exercising?” “We have lied to ourselves and others in order to justify our actions.” “Glee, at that point, was about a motley crew of quirky teenagers trying to mold together in order to win sectionals.” In his new usage guide, The Accidents of [...]
By Don Hauptman | Thu, Dec 16, 2010
I was amazed to read this sentence in a major newspaper: “Today the criteria is simple: total unit sales.” Of course, criteria should be criterion. The first is plural; the second singular. And if you intend the plural, it’s criteria are, not criteria is. Most English words are turned into plurals simply by adding -s or -es. [...]
By Don Hauptman | Thu, Dec 9, 2010
It’s time for another round of “confusables” — similar words that are often confused, misused, and abused. The following examples come from print and online sources. “Central tenants of the tea party movement are that bailouts of failing financial institutions must end; that ‘big business’ shouldn’t enjoy subsidies from ‘big government’….” A tenant (TEN-unt) rents a [...]
By Don Hauptman | Thu, Dec 2, 2010
I can recall when hardly anyone knew the word oxymoron. Now everyone knows it — but few people use it correctly. The word’s popularity can probably be attributed to the late comedian George Carlin, who loved language and wordplay. In one of his most memorable routines, he described phrases such as “jumbo shrimp” and “non-dairy creamer” [...]
By Don Hauptman | Fri, Feb 4, 2011
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