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One
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More
than any other activity you can do, investing in your ability
to achieve your personal dreams is the greatest gift you can
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Looking
for a Last-Minute Christmas Gift?
By
Rick Pendergraft
If
you're looking for a gift for an avid investor (maybe for yourself?),
I might be able to help. Here are some of my favorite investment/trading
books:
Market
Wizards by Jack Schwager and Reminiscences
of a Stock Operator by Edwin
Lefevre Both of these books are not only must-reads,
they are also must-owns ... because you want to go
back and read them again and again. I sure have - and
I learn something new every time.
Pit
Bull by Martin Schwartz and Trader
Vic - Methods of a Wall Street Master by
Victor Sperandeo. Both of these men are legends on
Wall Street, and neither of these autobiographies is
overly complicated with market jargon.
If
your trader friend is into technical analysis, try Technical
Analysis of Stock Trends by Robert Edwards
and John Magee. This is often referred to as "the Bible
of technical analysis."
And Technical
Analysis From A to Z by Steven
Achelis is the perfect reference tool for any trader.
All
of these books have helped me become a better trader and a
better investor, and they'd make any investment junkie giddy
as a child on Christmas morning.
[Ed.
Note: Find out how Rick Pendergraft can help you make money
- no matter what the market's doing - as the editor of ETR's
new investment service, the ETF
Options Trader.]
"It
is our business carefully to cultivate in our minds, to
rear to the most perfect vigor and maturity, every sort
of generous and honest feeling that belongs to our nature."
-
Edmund Burke
What
Is Christmas REALLY About?
By
Michael Masterson
One
of Howard Stern's people interrupted his show recently to chastise
him for his decision not to send every one of the Stern-related
company employees a gift.
"I
don't even want a gift," she said. "But the fact
that you aren't going to give me one tells me a lot about
what kind of a thoughtless person you are."
"But
aren't you Jewish?" Stern asked.
"That
makes no difference, and you know it!"
This,
of course, supports my theory that Jewish people need Christmas,
too - despite the fact that my Jewish friends insist they are
more than happy to do without the stress associated with this
holiday. But it also shows how horrible Christmas can be if
you think of it as a time when other people are supposed to
give you things and make you happy.
Whenever
someone tells me that they don't like Christmas because it
depresses them, I want to ask - but don't - "What makes
you think Christmas is a time to spend thinking or worrying
about yourself?"
It
seems to me that Christmas is not about trying to please everyone.
And it's certainly not about getting. It's a season for gratitude
and generosity.
At
Thanksgiving, I thought a lot about gratitude and the many
ways being thankful can deepen and enrich your life. Keeping
this thought with you throughout the Christmas season is essential
if you want to avoid stress and depression and enjoy it the
way it can be enjoyed.
Although
I certainly think it's possible to enjoy yourself without getting
involved in all the hullabaloo of Christmas, I wouldn't want
to. For me, Christmas really is the season to be jolly. And
when I'm jolly, I want all my friends - Christian or not -
to be jolly too.
Being
jolly at Christmas is one result of practicing the thankfulness
you practiced at Thanksgiving. But instead of being merely
grateful this Christmas, try adding to it a healthy dose of
generosity (a virtue that is at the core of almost every ritual,
myth, story, and tradition surrounding Christmas).
Like
all virtues, generosity is good for the practitioner. Master
the virtue of giving and your life will be doubly blessed.
First, you will be recompensed, with interest, for each and
every thing you give. Second, your capacity to love life will
increase a little each and every time you practice giving.
Generosity
is also a skill - and, like all skills, it can be learned and
mastered. To master the skill of generosity, you must make
it a part of your daily life. You must spend a few minutes
every day thinking about how you can give more kindness ...
time ... wealth ... and knowledge.
Never
be afraid to give. But never give if the purpose of your giving
is to derive some sort of benefit. Give freely, but not more
than you can afford and not more than the recipient of your
generosity can take.
If
you give wisely, your generosity will never impoverish you.
If you give carefully, your generosity will not do harm. If
you give kindly, your generosity will not be resented. If you
give regularly throughout your life, you will leave the world
a better place than it is now.
Besides
practicing thankfulness and generosity toward others, be generous
toward yourself.
It's
three days before Christmas, and I'm betting you're working
today. Instead of cramming lots of work into the next eight
to 10 hours, give yourself a nice Christmas gift and follow
this last-workday-before-Christmas schedule:
7:30
to 9:00: Do something important-but-not urgent,
something that will make you a better, happier person.
9:00
to 10:00: Sort through your inbox. Organize everything
to be ready for you when you return to the office next
week.
10:00
to 10:30: Make phone calls and send e-mails to
colleagues and friends wishing them "Happy Holidays."
10:30
to 11:00: Write down the specific fun things you
are going to be doing over the long weekend.
12:00
to 12:30: Clean up your desk. Look busy.
12:
30 to 1:30: Go out to lunch with friends or workmates.
Have a cocktail.
2:30: Go
home early.
That's
what I'm going to do ... and it's pretty much the same thing
I did last year.
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A
Berry Good Addition to Your Year-Round Diet
By
Al Sears, MD
You
probably think of cranberries as "just for the holidays" -
but you may want to consider eating them all year round. Preliminary
results from a new study funded by the National Institutes
of Health indicate that cranberries can prevent and slow the
growth of tumors, stop breast cancer cells from multiplying
- even prevent dental plaque from forming on your teeth.
Cranberries
are packed full of antioxidants that protect your cells from
age-related damage. Earlier studies showed that cranberries
can even improve your cholesterol. For example, one from Canada
found that cranberries raise your HDL cholesterol. This "good" cholesterol
prevents plaque from building up in your arteries.
It's
easy to add cranberries to your diet. Cranberry jellies and
jams. Cranberry pies. Cranberry juice. Even bits of dried cranberries
in salad. And try mixing dried cranberries - along with other
dried fruits, like raisins - with high-protein walnuts, almonds,
or Brazil nuts.
Cranberries
freeze well, so they're easy to keep around. And it's a great
way to add something sweet to a meal without increasing its
glycemic index score. In fact, fresh or dried cranberries in
your cereal will actually lower its glycemic index.
[Ed.
Note: Dr. Sears, a practicing physician and the author of The
Doctor's Heart Cure and 12
Secrets to Virility, is a leading authority
on longevity, physical fitness, and heart health.]
Feedback
Friday: In Response to "Empathy and Other Bad Ideas"
In Message
#1883:, Michael Masterson explained
his "kick-in-the-pants" brand of therapy. Here
are some of things ETR readers had to say about it ...
"This
article is powerful and I totally support its emphasis. The
most simple yet profound statement I have heard in this arena
is by Hendrie Weisinger from his book Emotional
Intelligence at Work.] He states: 'It
is the meaning we assign to the people and events we encounter
that affect us for good or ill, not the events themselves.'
"The
individual's ability to respond rather than react is
the ultimate life skill. One is victim to circumstances,
the other is victor and a true director of his life. Every
man needs this life skill, not just the depressed. We live
in a society that is all about blaming others and external
events.
"The
only bone I wish to pick with you is that you have not drawn
the distinction between empathy and sympathy.
"Empathy is
more than sympathy in a tuxedo. Sympathy is getting into
bed with the victim and joining the pity party - totally
useless and moreover damaging. Empathy, however, sets the
stage for relating where powerful communication and life
skills can be transfused. It creates an open environment
avoiding self-judgment, which is yet another place the disabled
find to hide from their responsibility. If you truly want
to be a catalyst for change, I say set the environment with
relating, and then advocate their ability to evoke their
own Greatness.
"ETR
is one of only a few publications I review at least weekly
and often daily. A great service and value."
-
John Felitto
Pearl River, NY
"There
is a great deal of difference between 'sympathy' and 'empathy.'
As a psychotherapist, I would be doing a lousy job if all
I did was show 'pity' for a person's circumstances. The example
you gave describes a type of counselor who believes in simply
reflecting back to the person how they feel. That approach
is rarely useful in cases like the one you describe.
"Most
of us who are effective counselors believe in motivating
and supporting our clients to grow and change, using much
more directive approaches, like Cognitive Therapy.
Another approach that is very effective in the 'kick your
butt' category is Byron Katie's. She challenges people to
question their deeply held beliefs and makes them see how
false beliefs keep them from having happy, productive lives.
"Byron
Katie shows no sympathy whatsoever for people's
neurotic 'stories.' She is very blunt and very tough, but
she does show profound 'empathy.' In other words, she holds
your hand while she kicks you in the butt!
"That's
the way I counsel people. I let them know in no uncertain
terms that I am on their side (Empathy). Then, I point out
to them that their negative stories and beliefs are NOT WHO
THEY ARE, and I support them to challenge and transcend those
old false ideas. (Often by kicking them in the butt!)
"Another
amazing tool I use is energy psychology, specifically Emotional
Freedom Techniques (EFT). By teaching people to tap on acupressure
points on their own bodies, I teach them how to HELP THEMSELVES
very quickly and effectively, without drugs or years of therapy.
The idea is that we are all made up of energy, and sometimes
our energy gets disrupted. If we simply use acupressure to
re-align our energy, the emotional attachments simply fall
away.
"Michael,
you are a mentor and a coach, and although I do both coaching
and counseling, there is an important difference. I believe
that coaching is totally focused on GOALS and RESULTS,
while counseling puts the initial focus on the individual.
Some people need empathy and guidance before they are ready
to dive into a goal-oriented life. I agree with you
that it shouldn't have to take years.
"I
appreciate your Early to Rise newsletter, and I
look forward to reading it every day."
-
Dr. Kiya L. Immergluck
Chicago, IL
"Oh,
empathy isn't all that bad; it's just lack of common sense,
or balance, that screws it up. To identify with somebody
gives us a soft heart toward them. That's a good thing. But
if we then take responsibility for their lives, our empathy
hasn't benefited anyone.
"Case
in point: I was very successful in earlier days, then went
into a long dry spell. And it wasn't until I got back to
work that I started to seize opportunity again. My son has
also been very successful in other areas, and recently made
a change. He's having a terrible time. Feels lost, useless,
scared, etc ... all things he hasn't felt before. I empathize.
My empathy makes me a good listener who tells him it'll be
fine in time as long as HE keeps working at it.
"Lack
of empathy might leave me saying "Tough luck, loser" -
but having spent a period of life losing myself, I'm empathetic
... and that makes me an encourager."
-
Dale Howard
Westminster, MD
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Word
to the Wise: Deign
To "deign" (DANE)
is to think worthy of.
Example
(as used by Jay McInerney in Model
Behavior): "Not until I pour vodka
on his shirt does he deign to acknowledge my existence."
