I watched in horror as my 11-year-old daughter Hannah plunged 150 feet down Cheakamus Canyon toward the river raging below.
My wife Karen and I had both tried to talk her out of it. But she wouldn’t be dissuaded.
She wanted to jump.
Of course, she was attached to a bungee cord, one that “exceeded Australian specifications” (whatever that means). And Whistler Bungee — an hour north of Vancouver and just below Whistler’s 2010 Olympic Village — has been in business for seven years with a perfect safety record.
Still … I got the willies just looking down through the 300-foot span as we crossed it. This was a murderous height. It would have taken at least three burly men to get me out on that platform.
“You don’t have any problem with this?” I asked a member of Canada’s Olympic ski team who was suiting up for a jump as we arrived.
“Not at all,” she laughed. “What could go wrong?”
“That’s the difference between you and me,” I said. “I have more imagination than that.”
Of course, I knew my fear was emotional not rational, otherwise I would never have let my daughter jump.
That she wanted to jump still astonishes me. After all, this is the same girl who insists on cracking her bedroom door at night so she can see the light in the hallway.
We hate to admit it but most of our fears are irrational. Everyday life just isn’t that dangerous anymore. Technology, engineering, and modern medicine have eliminated most of the sharp edges.
Yet we can’t escape our past. Our fears evolved as a basic survival mechanism. They arise in response to perceived threats, triggering a “fight or flight” response.
For most of us, it’s flight (or avoidance). And studies show our fears are fairly universal: spiders, snakes, heights (… yo!), public speaking, and death.
As Jerry Seinfeld once said, “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Does that sound right? This means at a funeral most people would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Our greatest inhibitor, of course, is fear of failure.
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Consciously or not, it can paralyze us, keeping us from applying for the promotion, taking the risk, meeting the girl, asking for the order, experiencing the unknown.
It’s always easier to stick with the safe, the comfortable, the familiar.
Yet every time we choose safety we reinforce fear. We nurture it. Only when we overcome this debilitating emotion do we really begin to live.
“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson.
How is fear conquered? By doing what we think we can’t do, again and again.
When I was young, for example, public speaking made me nervous. Today, I relish the opportunity.
After a particularly turbulent flight 30 years ago, I was a white-knuckle flier. Now, I can’t keep track of all my frequent flier miles.
Fear is the great barrier to success. It gives small things big shadows. It is the inverse of faith, trapping us between regret for the past and anxiety about the future.
Yet few things warrant the fear we grant them. We run not from genuine threats but imaginary bogeymen.
Perhaps that’s why philosopher Bertrand Russell said, “To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.”
And the rewards are many. Waiting for you on the other side of fear is freedom. Freedom from anxiety. Freedom from regret. Freedom from a life unlived.
Fortune, it turns out, really does favor the brave.
As Marianne Williamson wrote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? … We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Does this mean — like Hannah — that I’m willing to embrace “Whistler’s Ultimate Adrenaline Rush” and plummet toward the Cheakamus River?
That depends. How many burly guys have you got?
[Ed. Note: Alex Green, author of The Secret of Shelter Island: Money and What Matters, is the editor of "Spiritual Wealth," a free e-letter about the pursuit of the good life.]
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Mark your calendar. Starting September 10, MaryEllen will be interviewing three men who can make you wealthy:
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More from Masterson…
Bankruptcy Is a Good Thing
Equifax reports that small-business bankruptcies are up 81 percent over last year.
Now don’t get nervous if you have a small business or are thinking of starting one. This is a good thing. For several reasons:
- Your competition is reduced.
- The businesses that are left are strong. They make better joint venture partners for you.
- It’s the perfect motivation to look at your business critically. Is it in danger?
- Vendors have fewer customers. So you can make better deals.
How else can you take advantage of this information?
If you have a business, don’t cut marketing costs. As MaryEllen Tribby and I pointed out in our book Changing the Channel, you should market smarter. Add low-cost channels appropriate to your niche. If you market primarily through e-mail, try direct mail. If you’ve never explored social media, give it a shot.
If you want to start a business, look at the remaining companies. Look at their products, their advertising, etc. If they’re still around, they’re doing something right. Model yourself on them … with your own twist, of course.
Stop Obsessing Over What You Eat
My diet is made up of mostly healthful foods: grass-fed beef, free-range chicken, wild-caught fresh fish, vegetables and occasional fruits, whole grains, and the like.
But, from time to time, I do indulge in foods that aren’t “good for me.”
Total Health Breakthroughs‘ Dr. Sears says I shouldn’t worry.
He says a healthy attitude toward food includes not depriving yourself of your favorites once in a while. Don’t obsess or feel guilty about the things you’re not supposed to eat. Doing that makes it more likely that you’ll overindulge. Instead, when you think about food, focus on the good stuff you do eat. You’ll enjoy your food more, eat less, and feel more satisfied.
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The Simple Six-Figure Marketing Strategy – Paul Lawrence spent less than $100 to start his first business. He used just one marketing plan. Soon he had so many customers he had to hire someone to do the work. He went after new business. He used his marketing plan again. Almost instantly, he was making $4,000 a month. The people he sold the business to (so he could finish college — paid for by the sale, by the way) used the same plan. They are making $100,000 a year. Read more…
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