“Principle 1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2. Smile.

Principle 3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Principle 4. Be a good listener: Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Principle 5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Principle 6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.”

(Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People)

I love my new pilot flight gear bag. It’s functional, easy to use, and the perfect size for my cockpit. But I resisted buying it for months.

My previous bag was leather, with custom embroidered initials. It held all my gear and looked cool. But it was a bit bulky. Worse, it kept knocking around my backup NavCom, causing it to stop working. (Not a good thing when you’re 10,000 feet up in the air, as you can imagine.)

My resistance to buying a new flight bag – even when I knew it was the right thing to do – got me to thinking about the nature of change… and the anxiety that often comes with it.

Do you resist change even when you know it will make a positive difference in your life? If so, do what I did: Put it in writing.

Think about a change that could make your life a little easier or better – a small change that you’ve been avoiding because you figure the status quo is “good enough.” It could, for example, have something to do with your behavior, with time-tasking, or with learning a new skill.

Take a sheet of paper and list all the reasons you can think of for making the change. Then list all the reasons you can think of for not making it. Once you see it in black and white, the benefits of taking action will be obvious.

My new flight gear bag may not seem like a big deal, but making that simple change has made every flying experience more enjoyable.

Making a seemingly small change today will produce an equally good result for you tomorrow.

[Ed. Note: Once you've listed your reasons for making a change that will make your life better, healthier, or happier, you'll know what you have to do to make it happen. But if you still feel stuck, success mentor Bob Cox can help. He's helped four Ordinary Joes climb the ranks to become billionaires... and he's willing to share the same secrets of their success with you. Get all the details here.]

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I couldn’t believe I’d missed it before. I’d read the book many, many times – but this time was different. A secret was revealed to me – and today I’m going to give it to you.

If you are open and receptive to what you are about to read, you can expect a major breakthrough.

Here it is:
“Psychologist David Seabury says that the best piece of advice his father ever gave him was to practice positive mental imagery – immediately and ‘on cue,’ so to speak, whenever he became aware of negative feelings. Negative feelings literally defeated themselves by becoming a sort of ‘bell’ which set off a conditioned reflex to arouse positive states of mind.”

Now read that passage again. It comes from the 35-million-copy bestseller, Psycho-Cybernetics. Pay particular attention to the words “the best piece of advice his father ever gave him.” Why? Because whenever something is “the best piece of advice” someone can give you – especially your father – you know it’s got to be good.

In reading this passage, I not only see it as the best advice I can give my son – but myself, and everyone I teach at my seminars and in my coaching programs.

Many people wonder why I am always so calm, cool, and collected. Many wonder how I am able to speak before a crowd in such a nonchalant, totally relaxed way and still have everyone totally riveted.

It’s mostly because I have no thoughts of resistance when I speak. I’m not concerned about offending anyone. I’m not even trying to get people to like me. I am simply ME, take it or leave it.

Very few people are like this. They’re always trying to figure out how to get others to approve of them or like them. Not good. Because the more you NEED others to like you the less they will like you.

Same goes with money. The more you NEED it, the more it will stay away from you. Money and friends go where they are wanted – not where they are needed. There is a world of difference between want and need. One attracts. The other repels.

Want comes from a vibration of “I’m happy already and I’d like to have this, too.” Need comes from a vibration of “I’m miserable and frustrated and I need this thing to make me happy.”

Become aware of negative NEED feelings when they arise. And when they do, learn, through practice, to have those feelings immediately trigger the thought to change your vibration into a “feel good” one.

Most people have never been taught to do this by their fathers – or by anyone else. They’ve been taught to set goals, to have a burning desire, to be optimistic and have a positive attitude.

But what do you do when you look at the state of your finances and you feel bad? What do you do when the reality of your situation begins to ruin your day? What do you do when you’re feeling frustrated, fearful, and worried? You do what Dr. Seabury’s father told him to do… and what I’m telling you to do.

First, you “recognize” that you are feeling bad.

Second, you understand that this “feel bad” vibration REPELS what you say you want. Your want is not a want. It’s a need that comes with the expectation that something outside of yourself will make you happy.

Third, you recognize that this “feel bad” imagery sends a signal to the Universe that you cannot be happy “for no particular reason.” And that’s not good.

There is a balancing act between having a burning desire and having a desire that burns you.

Having a burning desire creates the necessary mindset that will attract the thing you want. On the other hand, if the desire is connected to “I’m miserable unless I have this thing” – then you are chasing success and that success will always run faster than you do.

Your objective is to attract success, not chase it. Chasing success is repelling success. You never get what you are chasing.

Several years ago, a man sent me an e-mail in which he accused me of “chasing the almighty dollar.” He was wrong. At that point in my life, I couldn’t even form a mental image of myself doing what he said I was doing.

When I did chase the almighty dollar – and I did it for years – I had no money. When I stopped chasing and learned to attract it, it flowed into my life so fast I was nearly knocked over.

The forces of attraction and repulsion are always at play. Whether you attract more than you repel or repel more than you attract is simply a matter of how strong those forces are. If your repelling energy is stronger, you go deeper into debt. If your attraction energy is stronger, you get wealthier. If both are equally strong, you feel “stuck.”

Now the question is… what do you do if you are repelling more than you’re attracting?

The answer:

1. You change the way you feel by changing the mental picture you have of your situation.

Every time you feel a negative emotion, you sound the alarm in your head. “Uh, oh. Not good. Change the mental picture to a positive one.” You do this over and over, and before long the feel-bad vibe lasts less than a second and you’re back to feeling good.

2. You begin each day with exercises that help you go through the whole day without resistance.

You don’t just read inspirational messages and books. You stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself what you want. You picture what you want when you speak. You recall previous successes and link them to your future.

3. You have a burning desire in mind, a goal.

You don’t expect the goal to give you happiness. You don’t let the desire for it burn you by feeling bad that you don’t yet have it. In fact, even though you WANT the goal, you are able to “walk away” from it emotionally. If, for example, you want more money – you don’t expect more money to give you happiness. You simply want more money – and you put yourself into happiness mode NOW.

If you’re happy even though you don’t yet have in your possession the thing you want – then you are attracting it to you.

If you’re unhappy because you don’t yet have in your possession the thing you NEED – then you are repelling it.

So get happy NOW.

Recognize that fear, frustration, and angst are only there to help you change course. They’re there to help you see that your mental picture is off-target. Put the right mental image back onto the screen of your mind and watch how the Universe lines things up in your favor.

[Ed. Note: Matt Furey, an internationally recognized expert in self-development, fitness, and martial arts, is president of the Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation, Inc. With Matt's 101 Ways to Magnetize Money, you can learn the REAL SECRETS of financial success known only to the most prosperous men and women who have ever lived. Find out more right here.]